Mono Lessons (Part IV: 67-82)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

---

67. A certain somebody snores.

68. Wrap it up.

69. The beauty of self-checkout in supermarkets.

70. Just because they’re your doctor doesn’t mean they’re right.

71. I already know and should quit pretending.

72. It feels good to give advice I’ve practiced myself.

73. Sometimes friends need a good ol’ figurative slap in the face.

74. Sometimes friends need a good ol’ literal slap in the face.

75. It’s really tough to get people to open their eyes. Especially in this place.

76. I have a lot of things I want to do.

77. I have passion.

78. It’s okay to tell people you have mono; they understand.

79. No matter how many people deny it, they hear mono and figure your lips get around.

80. Some people’s lips really do get around…

81. It’s a small world after all. It’s a small world after all. It’s a small world after all. It’s a small, small world.

82. Mono + Cold – Nasal Spray + Listerine Mouthwash = Attempted Suicide

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

Haiti Donation Facebook Fan Pages

Alright, I can't take it any more.

Facebook fan page name: "I Will Personally Donate $00.001 to Haiti for Every Person That is a Fan"

Excuse me? 1/10 of a cent for every person? Don't get me wrong, I know this wonderfully charitable person was anticipating millions upon millions of people to become a "fan" of this page - hence the extremely low amount per fan. But as of January 26, 2010, there were 1,012 fans. That's a whopping $1.012. So in other words, one dollar and one cent. Pathetic. Why do I have so many friends joining this page?!

I'm not saying we should all be rushing to join these groups on Facebook so some stranger will donate 1/10 of a cent in our honor. I'm actually mocking that thought, if you couldn't tell. How about instead of joining this wonderfully pathetic group, you actually donate your own money to a reputable charity? Novel idea.

Have we become so self-centered that we think joining a Facebook fan page is going to save the world? Are we too removed to see the devastation? Is ignorance bliss? Are we too set on buying that new pair of shoes to bother giving $5 to the Red Cross?

I donated to the Red Cross through iTunes here. Pretty simple, huh? No excuses.

C'mon! Get real. You're worth more than 1/10 of a cent...and so are the Haitians.

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

Richard Avedon's Marilyn Monroe

This posting is a bit different for me. I would like to take a blog moment to pay tribute to my favorite portrait photograph. I was first introduced to this portrait of Marilyn Monroe by Richard Avedon in my Digital Photography class Spring semester of 2008. I fell in love the moment I saw it. So in love, in fact, that I now have an almost-life-sized print of this photo beautifully framed and hanging in my house. If that doesn't emphasize my passion about this portrait, I don't know how else to convince you. ;-)

Below you will find the following: said portrait, a video clip from American Masters - Richard Avedon: Darkness and Light (1996) where Avedon recounts the moment this portrait of Marilyn was captured, a critique on the photograph by Maria Morris Hambourg and Mia Fineman from their elegant book Avedon's Endgame, and my own closing critique and remarks. Enjoy!
 

Marilyn Monroe, Actress, New York City, May 6, 1957 Richard Avedon (American, 1923-2004) Gelatin silver print
 

---

This is a clip from PBS American Masters, Richard Avedon: Darkness and Light, Directed by Helen Whitney, 1996. Here, Avedon himself reflects on the exact moment this glorious portrait was taken.

---

I really enjoyed the following critique on this portrait. Please note, these are not my comments, but those of Maria Morris Hambourg and Mia Fineman from Avedon's Endgame; I want to make sure they receive the credit for their insightful remarks:

"In Marilyn Monroe, Avedon found a virtuoso of theatrical self-impersonation and with her pursued the mysterious point of convergence between actor and character, between the private self and the public role. 'There was no such person as Marilyn Monroe,' he explained in an interview with the filmmaker Helen Whitney [clip above]. 'Marilyn Monroe was someone Marilyn Monroe invented, line an author creates a character.' Recalling a session that took place at his studio on a May evening in 1957, he continued: 'For hours she danced and sang and flirted and did this thing that's -- she did Marilyn Monroe. And then there was the inevitable drop. And when the night was over and the white wine was over and the dancing was over, she sat in the corner like a child, with everything gone. I saw her sitting quietly without expression on her face, and I walked towards her but I wouldn't photograph her without her knowledge of it. And as I came with the camera, I saw that she was not saying no.'

"The famous portrait that resulted from this session is a study of the complex nature of celebrity. Entombed in her body, Avedon's Marilyn is a secular madonna mourning some indefinable loss. The picture is imbued with a sense of inferiority that seems worlds away from the rigid mask in Andy Warhol's posthumous silk screens of Marilyn as a gaudily glamorous pop icon. While Avedon's portrait foreshadowed the tragic figure Marilyn would soon become in the popular imagination, Warhol's silk screens, made shortly after her death from a drug overdose in 1962, have the still and distant quality of memorials. Yet neither Avedon's humanist portrayal of a sad seductress nor Warhol's luric canonization of her vivacious, wet-lipped counterpart reveals the real Marily Monroe. The truth of Avedon's portrait lies in a new character, a melancholy heroine collaboratively created by the photographer and his subject."

Hambourg, Maria Morris, and Mia Fineman. Avedon's Endgame. New York City: Harry N. Abrams, Incorporated, New York, and The Metropolitan Museum of Art, 2002.

---

This is a picture of my framed print of this portrait. This print was originally made for sale during a special exhibition of Richard Avedon's work at The Metropolitan Museum of Art September 26, 2002 - Jan 5, 2003. After a year of searching, I finally got my hands on it!

I am still at a loss to fully explain why I am so moved by this picture. I didn't (and still don't) know a lot about Marilyn Monroe and her life, but when I was first struck by this portrait, I knew enough to let it take me away. Her facial expression and bodily posture say, "What have I been doing? What have I done? Why am I doing this? And when will it end?" We all do things we're not proud of, get lost in the moment, and have these same striking realizations where we ask ourselves those same questions.

I guess, for me, I found solace in this portrait through empathy. Marilyn Monroe, oddly enough, became someone for me to relate to. Would I have felt the same had I not known anything about the personal life of the woman in the picture? I'm not sure. But either way, her facial expression and posture would ask the same questions. I believe the same message would be conveyed, but it is even more powerful with it being conveyed through this seemingly uncharacteristic, yet stunningly beautiful portrait of Marilyn Monroe.

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

Mono Lessons (Part III: 51-66)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

---

51. It could have been worse.

52. IKEA is one of the best ideas ever.

53. You can truly forgive without actually forgetting.

54. Some talent goes beyond my wildest dreams.

55. Gender and sexual orientation are 100x more complicated and confusing than I ever thought. And look whose talking.

56. “Gay” doesn’t quite cut it. But is there something that does?

57. You can’t get nasal spray vaccinations for the flu if you have some sort of preexisting condition.

58. It’s hard to stay “healthy enough” to have a chance to get a regular injected flu vaccine.

59. People use the most idiotic excuses to avoid taking responsibility.

60. I can actually work from home quite easily if I don’t have to call anybody.

61. The politics in that place are f***ing bullshit. Oh wait, I knew that already. It was just reaffirmed…again. How redundant.

62. Kneaders has the best oatmeal raison cookies.

63. Butternut squash bisque from Paradise is amazing.

64. On ultra annoying nausea days, Chipotle is often the only thing I can fathom eating. Specifically the hard shell tacos.

65. Jessica and I have our mindless and hilarious conversations at work to help keep a satisfying level of sanity (or insanity).

66. Mono screwed with my:

a. Appetite

b. Skin

c. Scalp

d. Sinuses

e. Throat

f. Weight

g. Pants

h. Belts

i. Head

j. Judgment

k. Voice

l. Personality

m. Mood

n. Amount of sleep

o. Sleep patterns

p. Sleep schedule

q. Sleep in general, apparently

r. School schedule

s. Work schedule

t. Boy schedule

u. Friend schedule

v. Homework schedule

w. Probably my pancreas

x. Probably the sac around my heart

y. Stamina

z. Motivation

aa. Drive

bb. Heart rhythm

cc. Diet

dd. Hydration

ee. Potassium levels

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

Bum

As of 5:00pm on January 8, 2010, I am now officially an

unemployed college bum.

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

I Hate This

I hate that it has finally come to this.

I hate that he let it get to this.

I hate that he has known this whole time, but did nothing about it.

I hate that everyone has known, yet done nothing.

I hate that it took this for anyone to even begin to care.

I hate his lack of responsibility.

I hate his ignorance.

I hate his attitude.

I hate his "managing."

I hate his micromanaging.

I hate his jealousy.

I hate his "years of experience."

I hate his fakeness.

I hate his lies.

I hate his two-facedness.

I hate saying goodbye.

I hate not having my cubicle sharing partner.

I hated letting go of that hug.

I hate being asked "What can I do to get you to stay?" 2 months too late.

I hate knowing the potential, but not being able so see it come to fruition.

I hate leaving her behind.

I hate knowing someone is being dumped into this situation.

I hate leaving her in the dark.

I hate leaving them.

I hate leaving a creditless legacy.

I hate you for what you've done.

I hate that I have to grieve this like a death.

I hate walking away from my baby.

I hate not being able to fully convey my anger and frustration.

I hate that she had a foot out the door this whole time.

I hate how much I'm going to miss you.

I hate that this is the right decision.

I hate how much I miss them.

I hate this conflict.

I hate that I've done absolutely all I can do.

I HATE leaving this way!

I hate this.

I hate this!

I HATE this!

I HATE THIS!

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

Lucky Bamboo

I made this today.

I love Lucky Bamboo. We've had bamboo in the house for years now and I just love to arrange it.

Specific numbers of lucky bamboo stalks in a pot are supposed to bring luck to certain areas of your life.

• 1 stalk: Simplicity and a meaningful life.
• 2 stalks: Double luck, happy relationships
• 3 stalks: Good for prosperity and fertility. If used with curly (money) stalk in the middle, it means wealth.
  
• 4 stalks: Academic achievement, creativity, writing, romance
  
• 5 stalks: Happiness, good and balanced luck in all aspects of life.
• 6 stalks: Easy money, wealth, good flow of luck. Six in the Chinese language also sounds like the word luck.
• 7 stalks: Good luck and prosperity in relationships.
  
• 8 stalks: Good luck and fertility.
  
• 9 stalks: Good health, prosperity, and love life.
  
• 10 stalks: Completeness and fulfillment in life.
• 11 stalks: Good all-around luck.

The one above has 6 stalks. I don't really build them based on the stalk number meaning - just what looks nice.

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

Mono Lessons (Part II: 25-50)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

---

25. How to say NO without using the word “mono.”

26. How to say NO with using the word “mono.” This one is harder.

27. One of my leading love languages, when it comes to showing my love for others, is gift giving.

28. I get offended when someone refuses a gift.

29. How to utilize Facebook Text Message.

30. I hold grudges. But not many.

31. I can release grudges.

32. Time FLIES!!!

33. Power Ranger costumes are hotter than hell.

34. I actually love my coworkers because they are my friends.

35. I like herbal tea.

36. Not ALL green tea tastes like hay. Just most green tea tastes like hay.

37. I hate relationship labels.

38. People don’t change. They think they’re changing for the “better,” but they’re only getting worse.

39. Some people are complete and utter douche bags.

40. It’s cathartic to tell a complete and utter douche bag that they’re a douche bag.

41. I dated an amateur porn star. If you want to call it that, I guess. It’s not worth watching. Trust me.

42. I really don’t care for high school flashbacks. Really.

43. When you have mono, “it’s getting late” is said around 5pm.

44. An unbelievable amount of mucus can reside in your sinus cavity.

45. Allie is an undercover Tylenol sales representative. A rather pushy one.

46. Normal cold medicines don’t have enough drug in one dose to actually do anything.

47. Take 2+ doses of cold medicine to feel some relief or take larger amounts of separate, different drugs.

48. Honesty is the best policy.

49. There’s no reason to settle.

50. Some hair dyes will stain your pillow.

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.