Mono Lessons (Part IX: 166-186)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

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166. The maximum amount of actually funny gay jokes has been reached.

167. Zombies are to Lindsey as Aliens are to me.

168. Allie can fit the rim of a midget Denny’s water glass in her mouth. Video proof has been captured.

169. Gay PDA in Utah is a personal safety risk.

170. An unusually large number of people are mistakenly told they have an enlarged heart.

171. Haiku is much better when in Zombie form.

172. It’s so much easier to date other Mormons.

173. Some people say to “live every week like it’s ‘Shark Week.’” I prefer to “live every week like it’s ‘Armageddon Week.”

174. I miss photography.

175. “I’ve learned how to cry and I’m better for that.” (from “Many the Miles” by Sara Bareilles)

176. Certain people are truly in the wrong line of work.

177. UTemps is my baby.

178. Hope.

179. The best medicine is laughing until it hurts. Then laughing until the hurt hurts. Then laughing until you are on the brink of crying because of the pain. Haha.

180. Arvilla is a name. A woman’s name. And she’s the best Denny’s server ever.

181. Grief and mourning is necessary for my survival, sanity, and peace of mind.

182. I have immense anger and resentment towards him for what has happened.

183. Freedom can be bittersweet.

184. Caffeine does a number on my entire body.

185. One Diet Coke can induce:

a. Heart arrhythmia

b. Hyperactivity

c. Attention deficit

d. Freezing cold hands – blood vessel constriction

e. Jitteriness

f. Racing thoughts

g. Increased heart rate

h. Anxiety associated with the heart arrhythmia

186. Never have caffeine again.

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

              

Burden on Society

Yes...and can I get that without bread?
     ...without seasoning?
     ...without sauce?
     ...without croutons?
     ...without dressing?
And also...without cheese?
            ...without mayo?
            ...without cream sauce?
            ...without butter?
Yeah...can I get that plain?
                            ...on corn shells?
                            ...wrapped in lettuce?
                            ...bun-less?
So uh...can I substitute that with guacamole?
                                       ...with salsa?
                                       ...with rice?
                                       ...with plain steamed veggies?
                                       ...with rice noodles?

Can I ask you a question...?
What is this fried in?
Is it fried with anything breaded?
How often do you change the oil? 
How often do you clean your grill?
Could you please change your gloves?
Could I see your gluten-free menu?
Do you even know what gluten is?
Then can I see your allergy menu?
This black and white piece of printer paper is it?
Oh, so even though your menu says it's gluten-free, it actually isn't?
Where is the gluten-free section?
Oh...that little area is it?
I've already tried all of it...
 
No, sir...no.  
You have this backwards:
Society is a burden on ME.

Can I speak with the manager?

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

"Steer" by Missy Higgins

On my list of favorite songs, this is number two: "Steer". Here, Missy Higgins recalls the moment she was inspired to create this remarkable and inspirational song. It's then followed by an "alternative version" of her USA music video for "Steer." I have it streaming in HD by default because it just makes the experience that much better. :-) Just give it some time to load. Trust me, it's worth it, especially in full-screen. Lyrics are provided below.

"Steer" - Missy Higgins

Feel it falling off like clothing

Taste it rolling on your tongue

See the lights above you glowing

Oh and breathe them deep into your lungs

It was always simple, not hidden hard

You've been pulling at the strings playing puppeteer for kings

And you've had enough

But the search ends here

Where the night is totally clear

And your heart is fierce

So now you finally know that you control where you go

You can steer

So hold this feeling like a newborn

Of freedom surging through your veins

You have opened up a new door

So bring on the wind, fire, and rain

It was always simple, not hidden hard

You've been played at a game called remembering your name

And you stuffed it up

But the search ends here

Where the night is totally clear

And your heart is fierce

So now you finally know that you control where you go

You can steer

Ohh, yeah now you finally know that you control where you go

You can steer

'Cos you've been listening for answers

Oh, but the city screams and all your dreams go unheard

But the search ends here

Where the night is totally clear

And your heart is fierce

So now you finally know that you control where you go

You can steer

Ohh, yeah, get out of the box and step into the clear

Ohh, 'cos now you finally know you can steer

---

How intimidating and liberating it is to come to this realization. To understand that you have the steering wheel for your life in your own hands is a remarkable moment. You should see her perform this LIVE! Ah! I highly recommend her album On a Clear Night.

 Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

Fence-Sitting

Am I just crazy?
Am I missing something?
Am I just not with it any more?
Have I gone off the deep end? 
Am I a lunatic?
I don't understand...

Why is it so difficult to comprehend being both Mormon and gay?
I don't think it's that difficult...
Why are you so worried about what everyone else thinks about you?
Why do they feel so compelled to live "all or nothing" lives?
Why do you want to conform?
Being Mormon is a part of you.
Being gay is a part of you.
Why deny either of those aspects?

Some call it fence-sitting.

If "fence-sitting" is what it takes so you don't kill yourself...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes so you can finally find some peace in this life...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes so you don't make the biggest mistake of your life...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes for you to forgive yourself...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes for you to forgive everyone else...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes for you to be yourself...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes to literally keep your sanity...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes to truly soul-search...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes to discover your own opinions and beliefs...
If "fence-sitting" is what it takes...
                                                     how on earth can it be so wrong?

The gays aren't right about everything.
The Mormons aren't right about everything.
They both have things to contribute.
They even coincide!

So...
Am I just crazy?
                                                    Or are you?
Am I missing something?
                                                    Or are you?
Am I just not with it any more?
                                                    Or are you?

Have I gone off the deep end? 

                                                    Or have you?
Am I a lunatic?
                                                    Or are you?
I don't understand...
                                                    you.

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

To all the (difficult) parents of gay children:

It's not a phase.
It won't change.
It can't change.

Do you honestly think your child would choose to be this way?
Why would you want your child to change?
Why do you want your child to change?
Why can't you love them the way they are?
It's not like you didn't have a suspicion...

It's not your "fault."
It's not their "fault."
You played enough catch with him.
You had enough tea parties with her.
He had enough interaction with you, dad.  
And mom, you weren't "overbearing."

How dare you hit him?
How dare you slap her?
How dare you kick him out of your house?
How dare you call her those names?
How dare you disown your child?
Maybe you don't deserve to have your own child as part of your life anyway.

Don't you get it?
Your religion can't "save" him.
Your counselor can't "fix" her.
What is there to save?
What is there to fix?

Remember that thing called unconditional love?
Use it.

He confided in you because he trusts you.
She told you because she wants, no, needs your support.

What makes him happy?
What gives her joy?
Support that.
The rest will fall into place.

You don't hold the answer.
Neither do they.
Just hop on for the ride.
Take it day by day.

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

Mono Lessons (Part VIII: 141-165)

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll thank God you don't have mono.

---

141. Campfire-giraffe-merhhh nights are the best.

142. First meetings are always awkward. I don’t care how comfortable you think you are with someone, it’s still awkward that first time.

143. I performed quite well on my PDE tests considering I quit doing the homework halfway through the course. The mono excuse helped me out on that one…

144. I love and admire Stacie and Anita.

145. The only hope UTemps has is in our departure. No longer having stake in the Program, we can lay it all out there as we leave.

146. Change is the only constant.

147. It’s too little too late.

148. Miracles continue to happen.

149. There’s something to this “power of attraction.”

150. Some people truly do have empathy and show it in ways that are the most helpful at the time.

151. Grade miracles continue to happen.

152. I allocate and work with my “time” a lot differently than I used to.

153. Television contentment can be found solely through Hulu…and CBS.com since they’re chumps and don’t post their shows to Hulu.

154. Timing is everything.

155. “Boffin” is British slang for “scientist,” NOT “homosexual.”

156. Mexican food is the only constant.

157. I “may be gay, but [I’m] not ‘RENT gay.’”

158. I may be nerdy, but I’m not “pocket protector nerdy.”

159. Zombies are hilarious and even cuddly.

160. My friends are freaks. My favorite freaks ever. ☺

161. Mono makes me eat like a pregnant woman at Denny’s.

162. I prefer my sushi in rolls.

163. Shockingly enough, not everything orange tastes good. That caviar was the most beautiful shade of orange………

164. I’m uber uncoordinated with chopsticks. And I throw them when I’ve just had enough of their nonsense.

165. It takes a lot of energy to stay “on” when meeting bunches of new people.

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.