"Dance Anthem of the 80s" - Regina Spektor

This is my favorite music video ever! Regina is the best!  This is also, by far, the best song about prostitution.

"Dance Anthem of the 80s" - Regina Spektor

You-ou-ou-ou-ou a-a-a-a-a-are

So-o-o-o-o sw-ee-ee-ee-ee-eet
Da-a-a-a-an-ci-i-i-ing to that

Be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-eat

There's a meat market down the street

The boys and the girls watch each other eat

You are so sweet, so sweet

Dancing and moving to that beat, that beat

There's a meat market down the street

The boys and girls watch each other eat

The boys and the girls watch each other eat

When they really just wanna watch each other

Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep

They want to watch, to watch each other

Sleep, sleep, sleep

Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep

They want to watch, to watch each other

Sleep, sleep, sleep

You are so sweet.

(Once more)

You are so sweet

(Solo)

[Regina's Piano Solo]

I went walking through this city

Like a drunk, but not

With my slip showing a little

Like a drunk, but not

And I am one of your people

But the cars don't stop

And I am one of your people

But the cars don't stop

It's been a long time since before I've been touched

Now I'm getting touched all the time

And it's only a matter of whom

And it's only a matter of when

An addiction to hands and feet

There's a meat market down the street

The boys and girls watch each other eat

When they really just wanna watch each other sleep

An addiction to hands and feet

There's a meat market down the street

The boys and girls watch each other eat

When they really just wanna watch each other

Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep

They want to watch, to watch each other

Sleep, sleep, sleep

Sleeeeeleeeleeeeep

They want to watch, to watch each other

Sleep, sleep, sleep

They want to watch, to watch each other

Sleep, sleep, sleep

They want to watch, to watch each other

Sleep, sleep, sleep

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Mon Corps

I recently had a bout with food poisoning.  While sitting on or worshiping the toilet, I was amazed at the urgency of my body's evacuation method.  I had no conscious say as to whether this "everything must go" event was truly necessary.  My body just decided it must be so.  So I had no other choice but to trust my body and go along with this horrendous expulsion technique.

To get my mind off of the misery, I attempted to remove my consciousness from the situation as much as I could.  I didn't make it very far, but I did have a light-bulb moment I hadn't experienced in this way before.  I realized there is something "inside" me that knows this body of mine is only a temporary mechanism it must inhabit to be here.  Here on this planet.  This part of me made me literally laugh at how silly and absurd my situation was and reassured me that what was happening to my body was only temporary would allow me to be on this planet for longer.  Well, for at least as long as I'm supposed to be here.

Our bodies are unfathomably intricate.  It's a miracle anyone is even alive.  It's a miracle anyone has babies.  It's a miracle we're all not (more) physically and mentally deformed considering how horribly wrong everything could go while we grow.

Almost all of our bodily functions happen without our say.  It's absolutely astounding.  Just like I didn't have a say as to whether I wanted to be vomiting and have diarrhea all night, I also had no say when I started losing my baby teeth...when I started puberty...when my voice changed...  I don't think about beating my heart, breathing, digesting...even walking sometimes seems so natural that I dare say I don't think about it.

All of these things that are so trivial from an eternal perspective, our bodies just do for us so we can live out our meaningful life here on Earth.  Not having to think about running our vital organs lets us think about the things that are truly important...and the things that drive us insane.  Sometimes it would be nice to escape because "I'm too busy digesting my breakfast, beating my heart, breathing, growing my nails and hair, and splitting millions of other cells to replace the ones that died..."  But that'd get old; really fast.  And nothing else would ever be accomplished!  We'd all just lie down at home breathing, beating our heart, and digesting....  I get annoyed enough that I have to eat, "use" the bathroom, and sleep...but I'd rather consciously do those than anything even more rudimentary.

Now that I am running out of rambles to try to explain my little light-bulb moment, here is my point.  I believe I will exist in some conscious form after my body has become too worn to continue automatically keeping itself alive.  I believe I also existed in some form before I inhabited this extremely imperfect, yet miraculous, body.  I believe this so strongly, in fact, that this belief's depth and origin seem unexplainable...  Some people call it their spirit, some call it their soul...I'm not sure what I want to call it.  But I know there is a part of me that will outlast this physical existence.  It will be a bittersweet moment to let go of this seemingly shoddy exterior shell...  Right now, it's all I know and all I have.  But until then, ceci est mon corps et je le protéger.
 

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MONO Lessons (Part XV: 300 - 320)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

---

300. Some places are just not worth spending the time, energy, and money to eat (particularly gluten-free) at.  I apologize for ending that sentence with a preposition.

301. It’s hard enough for me without the perpetual snide comments.

302. Mood changes can be sudden and unannounced with an obviously noticeable shift as well as sudden and announced with no detectable actual change.

303. Flash drives can never be solely trusted.

304. I feel extremely gratified when my re-petition is approved and I got everything I wanted in the first place.

305. Pride will forever be a gluten-free food that I will be swallowing regularly.

306. I can even survive 8+ vials of blood being taken from my arm!

307. It’s really weird knowing more than your own doctor…you know…the one who knows everything.

308. Back on May 3, 2010, I realized I was in limerence with her.  That’s what happened!  You can be in limerence with the “wrong” gender.  Now I finally have a name for it!

309. These foods, oddly, have gluten in them:

a. Soy Sauce

b. Teriyaki Sauce

c. Blue Cheese

d. Marinades and Seasonings

e. Couscous – it’s actually a pasta

f. Malt (malt anything comes from barley)

g. Caramel Flavor

h. Caramel Color (but usually not any more)

i. Roasted/Glazed/Candied Nuts

j. Vitamins

k. Gravy

l. Oats…kind of…but not really.  They are all too often contaminated with gluten, but don’t possess any of their own gluten.  This is always a wonderful conversation starter.  (See Lesson 274)

m. Tofu.  Wha?!  I know, right?  Stupid wheat fillers.  (As a side note, Kofu is 99.999% pure gluten.  Note to self: Definitely avoid Kofu.)

n. Licorice

o. Imitation seafood, like imitation crab

310. These foods are shockingly gluten-free

a. Buckwheat

b. Glutinous rice

c. Corn gluten

d. Wheat grass

e. Fruity Pebbles – For some odd reason I assumed they were gluteny…

f. Rumbi’s chicken.  I swear to you, everyone else’s chicken is marinated in gluten!

311. My potassium STILL isn’t as high as I was hoping.  What the crap?!?  No wonder my heart still has episodes.

312. It’s nice to be on the same page this time around.  Thanks for giving me a break this time around, universe.

313. “Don’t look for Mr. Right, be Mr. Right and the rest will fall into place.” – MB

314. As usual, summer brings people out of the woodwork.

315. Scalp Oil + Shower Cap + Big Gun Acne Spot Treatment + Extra Lotion Around Lips = Jason Looks Like a Freaking Monster at Bedtime

316. I now have empathy for people with scalp issues ranging from mild dandruff to full-fledged scalp psoriasis.

317. Writing and mailing letters to people is really rather fun.

318. Sometimes I go WAY too long without writing mono lessons.  They then get backed up (constipated, if you will) in my brain and then finally spill out all over the place.

319. A lot can change in a year.  Namely feelings.  Stupid fickle feelings.

320. Oddly, confusion is sometimes rather peaceful.  Wha?

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Leaves

I want to leave this place.
I want to be somewhere lacking majority;
everyone is minority;
no privilege;
and that's what makes it perfect.

I want to leave this place.
I want to live somewhere I "belong";
extra-long stares and gawks unthinkable;
no double-takes;
and my normal is (your) normal too.

I want to leave this place.
I want to settle somewhere safe;
drama and heartache more bearable;
no knives in back;
and knowing someone has mine.

I want to leave this place.
I want to reside somewhere rich in kahones;
label dodging unnecessary;
no fear of being found out;
and we all have the balls to be.

I want to leave this place.
I want to exist somewhere that gives a damn;
bullying and suicide not taken lightly;
no 'jokes or 'phobes;
and hateful misunderstanding has no clout.

I want to leave this place.
I want to stay somewhere gray;
black and white absurd;
no "my way" nor "highway";
and being is not "just a phase."

I want to leave this place.
I want to dwell somewhere dreamlike;
this destination nonexistent;
nowhere is this blissful;
and what makes me think leaving will help?

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The Year of Immunotherapy?

Please let this year be better.  I'm so tired.  I haven't felt well since May of 2008 and I'm tired of trying.  But apparently not tired enough to quit.

Westminster, Colorado.
A "cold" 
Turns into a "sinus infection."
Bactrim, Ceftin, Azithromycin, Augmenton.
Hives.
Epic hives.
Again
And again.
Turns out it was mono.
Quite the misdiagnosis
Duh.
School starts in 4 days.
Semester from hell.
ER visit.
Finally confronting my heart arrhythmia.
Miracle semester.
Not feeling better;
In fact, feeling worse.
Quit my job of 2.5 years.
Goodbye to the best coworkers on earth.
Time to focus on health and school.
Turns out I'm gluten intolerant.
Diet changes.
Diet changes.
Diet changes.
Diet changes.
Diet changes.
Feeling slightly better.
Disneyland.
Feeling quite a bit better.
Lagoon.
Cabin.
Something's not right.
School starts.
Worst pain ever.
ER visit.
Kidney stone.
Nausea, pain, lortab, and flomax.
And lortab...did I mention the lortab?
School...
Work...
W...
Feels like mono again
Only it isn't.
What a relief!
Wait, then what is it?
I'm allergic to this valley.
Is immunotherapy my next solution?
 

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