What do you do?

What do you do when the ones who love you don't love you any more?

What do you do when you don't feel safe in your own "home"?

What do you do when hypocrisy is the head of your household?

What do you do when fear and dread won't let you sleep?

What do you do when you hear hatred bang on your bedroom door?

What do you do when you bruise easily?
What do you do when you're freezing?
What do you do when you're already hurting?
What do you do when you can't leave?

What do you do when your pillow can't absorb any more tears?

What do you do when you want to do nothing at all?
What do you do when hate everything you're doing?
What do you do when you don't even want to listen to your favorite music?
What do you do when your legs bounce like Thumper's do?
What do you do when your homework reads like a foreign language?
What do you do when you're numb?
What do you do when you're bouncing off the walls?
What do you do when you want to bury yourself in a hole?
What do you do when you want to fall asleep and not wake up until it's better?
What do you do when it feels like your world is falling apart, only the world hasn't even noticed a crack?

I don't know what to do.

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

MONO Lessons (Part XVI: 321 - 342)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

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321. I like him.  I like him a lot.

322. I haven’t had the opportunity to be just friends with someone before dating them.  The transition is so pleasant and non-nerve-racking.  Natural, if you will.

323. I suddenly like the song “Head Over Feet” by Alanis Morissette…hmmm…

324. It’s even weirder to have completed Psychology of Love a couple of months ago and now beginning an actual new relationship.  Talk about textbook…

325. I CAN MAKE GLUTEN-FREE, DAIRY-FREE, & EGG-FREE OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES!!!  Epic day.  07/11/10.

326. That woman lives her life through her pain-body.  How sad.

327. Minds can change extremely fast.

328. I have identified five collective pain-bodies in which I have a stake:

a. The American Gay (LGBTQ+) Pain-Body

b. The Mormon (LDS) Pain-Body

c. The Gay Mormon Pain-Body

d. The Food Allergy Pain-Body

e. The Gluten-Intolerant/Celiac Pain-Body

329. I find hidden Mickey’s in my everyday life.

330. I’m capable of sending and receiving an “It’s me” voicemail.

331. The past can truly be haunting.

332. “D-BOX” isn’t dirty, it’s just a vibratey seat!

333. When I like a movie enough, I can see it 5 times in 15 days.  Inception rocks.

334. Monday, August 30, 2010:  Kidney stone.  Worst.  Pain.  EVER.

335. Guess what?  Potassium, still only inching it’s way up.  I have far more blood tests than I would prefer.

336. If they changed their mind and “accepted” me, I don’t think I would go back.  The damage is done.

337. Clubbing is much more tolerable with a significant other.

338. Blogging is like therapy.

339. Protests and rallies are like therapy.

340. Wendover is so sleazy it’s spectacular.

341. Gambling is kinda stupid…

342. Saying “my boyfriend” makes me all giddy.  *sigh*

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.