How do you do this to me?

How do you do this to me?
How can I hate your hurtful heart,
But sigh for your smell on my sheets?
How can I loath your lousy lies,
But crave your counterfeit concurrence?
How can I despise your desperate devotion,
But pine for your perpetual and palpable presence?

How do you do this to me?
Since when did I hand you my reins?
This is my life to live,
Not yours to subliminally destroy.
Since when did my brain
Allow thoughts of you to drain
My will, my power to let go?
How do you do this to me?

Why do I do this to me?
Why do I let this good-for-nothin' guilt
Cloud my already cockeyed comprehension?
Why do I fantasize the future we were facing,
Instead of soul-searching and stabilizing my self?
Why do I desire a darling,
But have a forever fleeting focus?

Why do I do this to me?
Since when did I lose control of my reins?
This is my life to live,
Not yours to subliminally control.
Since when did my brain
Allow thoughts of you to drain
My will, my power to let go?
How do you do this to me?

How do I forget your love?
How do I leave behind my own?
I'll never forget our years together.
The memories have pierced my soul.
But, it's over.
I miss you and will always love you.

How do you do this to me?
Since when did I hand you my reins?
This is my life to live,
Not yours to subliminally control.
Since when did my brain
Allow thoughts of you to drain
My will, my power to let go?
How do you do this to me?

How do you do this to me?

How do you do this to me?

Goodbye.

MONO Lessons (Part XXI: 420 - 439)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

---

420. I don’t know what to do with my last name if/when I get married.  But I do know “Hoggan” won’t be leaving.  It’s far too awesome.

421. I want an equation, variable, or unit named after me.  “Then we take the Hoggan Cross Section…”  “Find the Hoggan wavelength of…”  “So after the algebra, we are left with 7 Hoggans…”  Yes.

422. Opera is not my thing.

423. “Little Women” is just a boring story.  Jo, grow up.

424. I should probably become a model.  It may be my true calling in life.

425. Depressed and anxious people shouldn’t have to split their depression and anxiety pills.  We need more size variety!

426. Seeing a car flip over in front of you due to another car running a red light causes intersection anxiety.

427. I’m in love.  He drives me insane, but I love him.  I’m in love.

428. I can go months without talking to someone and still know when they’re pulling an April Fools joke.

429. Gay marriage would be legal if it weren’t illegal.  Think about it.  That thought isn’t as stupid as it sounds.

430. Fortune cookies are disgusting.

431. Domes of fudge are splendid.

432. Hemorrhoids suck.

433. Sucker Punch…possibly too awesome?

434. Buckwheat is nasty.  Even in maple-glazed cold cereal form.

435. I will never need to purchase an obnoxiously large, loud, and window-tinted truck to make up for any lack of “manhood,” thank you.

436. I don’t drink enough water.

437. I’m a meat-eating vegan.  A carnivorous vegan, if you will.  …Aaaaaand you will.

438. When I get an intense blog idea, move out of the way.

439. I like butt chins.

Mirror Mirror

"Trust is like a mirror. You can fix it if it's broke, but you can still see the crack in that mother f***ing reflection." - SMT

How do you repair a mirror smashed into 64 billion pieces?

I guess the answer is: carefully...and with gloves so you don't cut yourself.

I forgot the gloves in my haste.

Once the mirror smashed, my first reaction was to hurry and put it back together as to see clearly again as soon as possible. But I cut up my hands and bled all over the poorly reconfigured puzzle. I couldn't see any clearer.

Crap. Now I have to re-break it if there's any hope of seeing clearly.

*smash*crash*crunch*

I can't do this again. I quit.

Trust forever betrayed.
Forgiveness never in sight.
Forever bandaging the wounds.
Never healing.
Always hurting.
Always bleeding.
What a mess.

Don't Be So Hard

"Don't be so hard on yourself."
It's not attractive.
It's not productive.

Your darkest bruises are from your own mind.

Do the blotches and scars help you heal?
Do they help you forget?
How about forgive?
Move on?
Or do they help you remember to punish yourself every second of every day?
To look in the mirror with pure hatred and disgust?
To regret what you did?
What you said?
What you didn't do?
What you didn't say?
Do they help you remember what you lost?
Do they help you remember how much you fucked up?

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Do the track marks lead you to any happiness?
Or only to more sorrow and depression?

Did you ever think you might enjoy the pain and drama more than peace and calm? What an unpleasant, painful way to live.

Lighten up. Live a little. Step out of your comfort corner.

Don't be so hard on yourself.

Daemon of The Past

Movies portray daemons in so many ways - some crawl, some swoop like ghosts, and some lurk faceless in the shadows. But the worst daemon of them all is The Past - unseen and non palpable.

Photo by CodingNinja

The Past terrorizes the mind like the ghosts of asylum patients haunt the halls of their former home.

The Past is a liar. It fools you into believing a hologram. It's fake. It's a façade hiding your mind's eye from reality and The Truth.

The Past makes you angry and bitter. It makes you blame everyone...everything...except yourself.

The Past asserts you had no control. It was his fault. It was her fault. If only he didn't do that...if only she didn't say that...then things would be better for ME.

The Past is denial.

But at the same time, The Past is guilt and self-loathing. The Past is worthlessness and hopelessness. The Past digs a pit of shame and throws you in, spiraling toward the invisible bottom.

Photo by brownspoon

The Past enjoys being construed, twisted, and morphed into whatever causes you the most possible pain.

The Past then wants you to awaken its brother daemons in the people around you. Spread the pain and suffering!

The Past is a kidney stone of the mind. The pain is excruciating. It can even feel like you may die.

The Past makes you sadder than you ever thought possible. It makes your tear ducts shrivel. It makes your sleep scarce and strenuous.

Photo by F l S f a h .. ❥

The Past wants to break free and become reality. It will convince you its freedom will be your solace, when in fact, it is your demise.

The Past breaks free with death - your death. The escape from its torture lies in your own hands. You must die to alleviate the depression, pain, and tormenting anxiety The Past inflicts.

Of course this isn't The Truth. The Past destroys hope, butchers faith, and mocks The Truth.

But The Truth knows self eradication will only cause more pain - for your soul and those you leave behind.

Photo by lorrainemd

The Truth may not be pretty, but it's not a big phony like The Past.

The Truth is now.
The Truth is here.

The Truth doesn't dabble with The Past.
The Truth doesn't fiddle with The Future.

The Truth is grace.
The Truth is the escape.
The Truth is happiness.
The Truth is Love.
The Truth is health and healing.

10 Things You Say & Ask That Are 10x More Offensive Than You Even Realize

Many would expect my first blog back from a month-long European excursion would have something to do with Europe...maybe even just a little.

This is not that blog.

Here are ten things you say and ask that are ten times more offensive than you even realize.

Enjoy!

1.  "Homo"

This word is like the "N-word" - just as it is oddly appropriate for one black person to call another black person the N-word, it is also oddly appropriate for one gay person to call another gay person a homo. If you're straight, you are automatically disqualified from using that word without it being offensive.

2.  "Fag"

Sometimes people think this word is like the "N-word." But it's not. This word is offensive no matter who says it - gay, straight, or otherwise. It's sole purpose is to be offensive. So, if you never want me to speak to you, make eye contact with you, or even acknowledge your existence any more, by all means, call me a fag.

3.  "So, who's the woman in the relationship?"

This question is infuriating and the explanation why is rather long, so hang in there. We must first start with a discussion on gender. What is gender - innate or learned? Most gender studies experts will tell you that the concept of gender is a societal phenomenon, meaning gender constructs (stereotypes) are created by the society at large and then projected onto each individual in the society. For example, it seems that boys play with trucks and girls play with dolls because society says so, not because that is necessarily the toy they truly want to play with.

The next discussion involves heteronormativity. We live in a heteronormative culture, meaning it is expected, essentially from birth, that boys are attracted to girls and girls are attracted to boys. Laws of marriage are an example of heteronormativity in our government. Our culture feels compelled, then, to compare everything not conforming to heteronormativity to their heteronormative experiences and stereotypes.

This is where we get to the offensiveness of questioning a member of a gay couple as to which one of them is the "woman" in the relationship: the obvious answer, and the correct answer, is NEITHER OF THEM. One of the requirements of being gay is that both members of the gay couple must be the same gender. That's kind of the point behind identifying as such.

3.1. "But you know what I mean...one is always more feminine..."

That may sometimes be true with your heteronormative definitions of "masculine" and "feminine," but you must know by now that most gays don't care much for gender stereotypes and almost definitely don't have the same archaic and ignorant view of gender as you.

Take a moment and ask yourself if you think gender is black and white with no gray. In my opinion, there is plenty of gray area - gender is a gradient of personality characteristics and ways in which one identifies with themself.  Did you know there are even some cultures that classify gays as a third gender? 

In short, we don't appreciate having your heteronormative way of thought imposed on our relationships. In my case, my BOYfriend and I both identify as male, and that's that. Have some respect.

4. "Are you the top or the bottom?"

This question is only (sometimes) appropriate for one gay to ask another gay. The question implies a lot of gender stereotypes when asked by a straight person. No, the top is not the "man" in the relationship and the bottom is not the "woman." Refer to number 3.

5.  "...gay friend..."

5.1. "I love having you as my gay friend!" OR "You're/He's my best gay friend!"

If you can't simply refer to me as your "friend," I'm sure as hell not going to be your "gay friend."

5.2. "I have a gay friend!"

Also, the fact that you might have a "gay friend" doesn't mean you and I are instantly friends nor does it undo any possible homophobia you possess.

5.2.1. "You would love my gay friend!"

Nor does it mean I need to be set up with your "gay friend."

6.  "No homo."

This pretty much explains it all:

7. "That's so gay."

"When say 'That's so gay,' do you realize what you say? Knock it off."

8. "Homosexual"

Strangely enough, the Safe Schools Coalition of Washington's Glossary for School Employees best describes this outrageously outdated term for what it really is:  offensive.

"Avoid this term; it is clinical, distancing, and archaic. Sometimes appropriate in referring to behavior (although same-sex is the preferred adjective). When referring to people, as opposed to behavior, homosexual is considered derogatory and the terms gay and lesbian are preferred..."

"Homosexual" focuses all attention on sex.  It's like the word becomes

homosexual.

Personally, I'm used to seeing this word in Mormon stuff on "same-sex attraction" or "SSA."  (Another term I find offensive.)  The Church, at one time, focused their anti-gay literature on sex.  Sex sex sex.  Since sex is taboo in general in the LDS Church, GAY sex is the ultimate taboo, so using words like

homosexual or same-sex attraction

remind the reader how bad it is to be a homosexual.  So now I know, If you use this word, you don't know what you're talking about and your words have no merit.  Being gay involves a lot more than just sex.

9.  "*offensive-foot-in-mouth-shit*...Oh you know what I mean!"

You know what?  I don't know what you mean.

In gay culture, word choice means a lot.  What's in a word?  Well, you can't call me a fag, but you can call me gay.  You can't call me a homo, but my boyfriend can call me a homo.  Nobody can call me a faggot, but you can sometimes call me queer.  But you sure as hell better not call me a homosexual.  I'm gay.  Get the idea?

There are a lot of words thrown around to describe or identify LGBTQ... people.  Some are universally offensive while some are nichely offensive (see that word I invented there?).  Some words aren't necessarily offensive, but better ones could be used in their place.

Both gays and straights could use some practice in honoring a person's chosen identity labels.  For example, I identify as a gay man.  That's a pretty boring statement if you've never been compelled to question your sexual orientation or gender before.  But for those of us that have, we know a statement like that is existence defining.  I know I am a man in a male body who is attracted to men.  I feel lucky to have never struggled with my gender identity, just my sexual identity.  Dealing with both sounds like a burden I couldn't handle.

All I'm trying to say here is to think before you speak.  Take your time and choose your words.  If you're unsure of how to say something as to not offend, then ASK.  Don't stick your foot in your mouth and expect a simple "You know what I mean!" to make up for it.

10.  Shit Girls Say To Gay Guys

And lastly, everything in this video:

My Health Update + ASEA

To my Family and Friends,

I know many of you out there have been concerned about my health over the past few years, so I wanted to give you a summary and an update on what has been going on.

It all started back in the summer of 2009 when I had my first huge outbreak of mono.  I discovered I in fact had mono 3 days before school started.  It was a tough semester and I kept getting sicker.

I then got tested for food sensitivities.  In short, I learned I am gluten intolerant as well as rather sensitive to dairy and eggs.  I began a gluten-, dairy-, and egg-free diet in February of 2010 and I'm still going strong!

I started to feel a lot better as 2010 progressed, but then I passed a kidney stone the second week of fall semester.

This seemed to spark another set of symptoms - specifically nasal allergies.  I got tested for mono again to see if I had a current infection...it came back negative.  I did end up having a sinus infection, but I also got tested for pollen allergies.  In short, I'm allergic to the majority of the Valley.

Then the motherload.  Depression and anxiety.  I have been taking prescription medication for my depression and anxiety for just over a year now.  The side effects sometimes seem worse than the original symptoms.

After a long time of continuing to feel miserable, both physically and emotionally, a miracle happened to our family.  His name is Dr. Stan Gardner.

I finally had a functional medicine doctor with a goal of helping his patients find alternatives to drugs and surgery.  My treatment with him began with nutritional IV's to help reboot my immune system and an alternative allergy therapy he calls AllDeSen.  Unfortunately, these treatments only reduced my symptoms by about 25%.

Dr. Gardner's "assistant", Caitlin, does most of the AllDeSen work.  I put her title in quotation marks because she is actually his daughter. ;-)  Caitlin is a sweetheart with magic fingers.  Not only does she do AllDeSen, but she also does massage and a form of energy work called  Jin Shin Jyutsu.  I will talk more about my experiences with this at a later time, but I can tell you right now that I wish I had been getting massages long before now and I am also a believer in energy work.

Now most recently, after some lab results returned, we decided to put me on a light thyroid hormone and an additional supplement to increase my dopamine levels.  But the thing I am MOST excited to try is a product called ASEA.

I know many of you reading this have been dealing with health issues yourselves.  I can empathize with you.  Being sick for an extended period of time is torturous.  It's still hard for me to believe I'm saying this, but ASEA has given me some hope!

Let me give a disclaimer:  Yes, I am signed up with ASEA in a way that will allow me to eventually distribute the product if I believe in it.  I am not in any way trying to push this on anybody.  I just barely started it myself.  Signing up as an ASEA Associate happened to be the most cost effective way for me to get going on the product.  But I will say, if it makes me feel better, I want to share it with you all!

To learn more about ASEA, head to my personalized link and look through the informative videos.  The videos explain the product way better than I can!

http://freeyourmind.teamasea.com/

I will keep you updated on my progress as much as I possibly can.  Please have it in your prayers that I can get healthy again!  You are all also in mine!

Please feel free to contact me if you'd like to talk more about any of the stuff I've mentioned.

I love you all!

Jason

You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Some of you may find this sarcastic and rude, some of you may find this loving and sincere.  You're all correct...it's everything, but I certainly have no intention to offend.  Sure, there is a slight "airing of grievances" feel, but it's just a jumble of my thoughts.

You find out who your friends are when they visit you regularly,
When they support you at your job by SPENDING MONEY to see your work's latest play or attraction,
When they don't complain about the price of your work's shows or admission,
When they don't ask you if they can get in for free or for a discount,
When they know your job title,
When they know what your actual job duties are (If you spend the time explaining them, that is.),
When they know your major,
When they know your minor...s,
When they come to Europe with you,
When they do all they can to go to Europe with you but just plain can't go,
When they stab you in the back,
When they leave and never come back,
When they leave without saying goodbye,
When they tell you all the things you do that drive them absolutely insane but let you do them anyway because it doesn't really matter,
When they won't tell you what's bugging them and keep it all inside until they either fade away or blow up in your face,
When they say "I love you,"
When they say "I hate you,"
When they call you a fag,
When they call you a bitch (or betch),
When they like your boyfriend so much they can hang out together without you,
When they put on a gas mask for you,
When they make a fool of themselves in front of you,
When they let you vent about your frustrations with the LDS Church and just say "I know! I'm so sorry!  It sucks!" rather than starting a fruitless debate,
When they accept a present from you,
When they fail to accept a present from you,
When they give you a present,
And when they ask you what you'd like for a present so you receive something you'd actually like to have.

Thank U

On a slightly less serious note, but still just as profound as my previous blog, here are some more college "Thank U"'s:

Neti Pot

Thank U, Matt, for talking to me about gross neti pot and other sinus cleaning things.  And for being my first kiss.  Yep, I publicly admitted it.

Thank U, Spencer, for reminding me how fun (and insanely weird and confusing) it is to be young.

Thank U, LeAnn, for being my big sister.

LeAnn Rimes

Thank U, Rachel, for being my gluten-free rock.

Thank U, Kelly, for brightening my Noodle-filled dinners.

THE Judy McLane & The Brandon Suisse
at the stage door of Mamma Mia!

Thank U, Kelsey, for encouraging me to ride the shuttle...YOUR shuttle.  Also, for the many blonde moments you give my life.

Thank U, Brandon, for being my own personal theatre encyclopedia.
Thank U, Judy, for bringing me theatre that makes me feel.

Thank U, Rachael, for being somebody I know on the radio and for sometimes telling me the news when I wake up.

Thank U, Jesse, for always playing every "With Friends" game with me...even though you always win.  I hope I at least give you a good challenge every now and then!

"You Lost!"
I see this a lot with him...

Imogen Heap

Thank U, Dylan, for incessantly torturing me with your charming good looks and personality.  You nerd!

Thank U, Imogen, for numbing the pain, lessening the anxiety, and inspiring awe.

Thank U, Dan, for showing me miracles can happen.  ;-)



Thank U, Max, for being a crazy funny bisexual hipster...whatever that is...

Thank U, Brendan, for being okay with me accidentally stalking you in the Union for a couple of weeks before I even knew you.

Thank U, Melissa, for marrying a straight man.  ;-)  Oh, and for every single thing you taught me.

Thank U, Sam, for singing.  Please don't stop.  I heart you.

"Angel" by Vinyl Tapestries (aka, Sam)

Thank U, Davey Wavey and Haley Star, for adding some much-needed humor (and abdominal muscles) to my life.

Thank U, Medium, FlashForward, Glee, Desperate Housewives, Fringe, The Amazing Race, The Middle, Modern Family, Parks and Recreation, The Office, The Sing Off, New Girl, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Happy Endings and Seinfeld, for making my life seem so boring, yet so much LESS dramatic than I tend to think it is.

Thank U, Tron: Legacy, Sucker Punch, Midnight in Paris, The Help, Inception, Shutter Island, Slumdog Millionaire, Killers, and Zombieland, for the escape and stimulation.

Thank U, sexuality.

Thank U, rapture.
Thank U, music.
Thank U, UTemps.
Thank U, PTC.
Thank U, "ah-ha!" moments.
Thank U, mono.
Thank U, Westminster, CO.
Thank U, Apple.
Thank U, iPhone.
Thank U, Cymbalta.
Thank U, Disneyland.
Thank U, Proposition 8.
Thank U, Packer.
Thank U, Cupid.
Thank U, pride.
Thank U, gluten.


Thank U.

10 Down, 1 To Go - Thank You!

I'm graduating from college in May.  On May 4, 2012, to be exact, but who's really keeping track? Then I'm leaving my job and running away to Europe for a month.  Sounds amazing and you're extremely jealous of me, right???

Anyway...

First, I want to take a moment to reflect on the past 5 years of my college life and publicly acknowledge some family, friends, and coworkers who have continually supported me and helped me survive.

Mom and Dad:  What troopers.  From my giddy freshman excitement, to my mono year and kidney stone, to the impending senioritis, thank you for always being there to hear me rant, rave, complain, scream, cry, bitch, and cry some more at all hours of the day or night.  Thank you for letting...no...encouraging me to be me.  Thank you for listening to me nerd out like I do.  Thank you for being interested in me, my school, my work, my coworkers, and my friends.

Stacie and Anita:  I couldn't have asked for more amazing coworkers.  I still feel so lucky and blessed that I had the opportunity to work with both of you.  Not many people get the chance to do what we did.  And at my young age, I am so thankful I was able to do it with you.  Thank you for being great coworkers, mentors, and most of all, my friends.  I love you both dearly!

Stacie, Me, and Anita:  The UTemps Team

Katie:  Thank you for putting up with my and Ryan's Canada jokes.  Thank you for choosing me (you know what I'm talking about...haha).  Thank you for helping to keep us in contact and organizing lunches and dinners.  Thank you for always being there to talk to and for never judging me.  You are one of the sweetest people I know and I absolutely love you!

Moi et Katie

Ryan:  Thank you for making nerdiness so sexy.  Thank you for your eye contact.  Thank you for being an amazing study buddy.  Thank you for all of the intellectual conversations about gender, sexuality, religion, and everything else both physics-y and non-physics-y.  I miss you!

Jessica:  You are absolutely the best lab partner anyone could ask for!  Thank you for always being on the same crazy wavelength as me, even though it's not actually you're choice and in reality you're just as crazy as me.  Thank you for taking Lisa's class with me - that was an amazing experience to share with you.  Thank you for being so freaking funny.  I love you!

Allie and Lindsey:  Thank you for putting up with mono me.  Thank you for the Denny's nights.  Thank you for the laughing attacks.  Thank you for Disneyland.  Thank you for the cabin, which was exactly like Disneyland, only completely different.  Thank you for being amazing friends!  Oh, and Lindsey...EUROPE!

DISNEYLAND!!!

Tate:  Thank you for returning to my life.  Thank you for always supporting me, encouraging me, and doing your absolute best to understand me.  Thank you for listening to me nerd out.  I love you so much and I can't wait to see where life takes us next!

Yes, we are usually acting or looking like dorks.

Diane:  Thank you for taking a "risk" and hiring a physics major.  Thank you for your infinite flexibility around my health and school.  I would never have guessed I'd work in a theatre...but I have absolutely loved it!

---

Now that I got the sappy part out of the way, let's talk about what I've accomplished here and why I deserve this degree.  (It's tough to tell if I'm doing this to help ward off senioritis and keep me motivated or if I'm just trying to impress all of you.)  I'm a super nerd, so I've obviously kept track of every class I've taken over the past 5 years.  And here they are with my (sometimes witty) comments!!!

Freshman Year `07 -`08

Allie, me, and Barbara "Poochigian-ing It Up"

Classical Civilizations 1550: Classical Mythology
Poochigian.  Enough said.

Educational Psychology 2600: Strategies for College Success
Taking AP classes in high school made this class borderline useless...

Mathematics 2210: Calculus III
It's like calculus I and II, only in THREEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEE!

Writing 2010: Intermediate Writing
Katy Savage, how I love you.  You and I clicked when it came to humor.  Thank you for encouraging me to write!

Art 2060: Non-Major Digital Photography
I, mister science, got an A- in an art class.  Hell yes!  I'll take it.  Digital Photography:  Art for Scientists.  I also must give this class credit for introducing me to Richard Avedon and his portrait of Marilyn Monroe.  You may have heard I enjoy this photograph.

Mathematics 2270: Linear Algebra
Horrible class.  Horrible teacher.  Katie flirted for her grade.  Admit it.

Physics 1980: Undergraduate Seminar II
They made me take it...

Physics 2215: Physics Lab I for Scientists and Engineers
Per...rwrwrwwrrw...iod.  That means "period" in Asian.

Physics 3210: Physics for Scientists I
Ugh...I don't wanna talk about it.

Summer `08

Mathematics 2280: Introduction to Differential Equations
Gray is usually a bad choice...especially if you're overweight and it's the middle of summer in Utah...if you catch my drift.

Sophomore Year `08 -`09

Mathematics 3210: Foundations of Analysis I
Even though we only spent one day in the Naval Sciences building with no AC, I now know how Italian students feel when they're in class sweating like an Italian fountain and have an Italian man saying math at them.

Physics 1970: Undergraduate Seminar I
You guessed it, they made me take this too...

Physics 2225: Physics Lab II for Scientists and Engineers
Ming Dynasty.  At least I think it was Ming...

Physics 3220: Physics for Scientists II
I don't wanna talk about this either.

Political Science 1100: United States National Government
The only reason this class was somewhat interesting is because I took it in Fall 2008: aka, election season.

My county is blue...
I felt that needed to be brought to attention.

Mathematics 3220: Foundations of Analysis II
Every review I had read about my professor, Dr. Taylor, (also the author of our "book") was horribly negative.  I was terrified of him before I'd even met him.  Turns out he was one of the most fair professors I had my entire college career.

Physics 3740: Introduction to Quantum Mechanics and Relativity
Quite possibly the biggest asshole of a professor I had my entire college career.

Physics 3760: Thermodynamics and Statistical Mechanics
I HATE thermodynamics.  I also HATE statistical mechanics.  At least the professor was nice even though he was sometimes difficult to understand.

Psychology 1010: General Psychology
This was quite the psych overview...thank goodness Kelly was in it with me.

Junior Year `09 -`10

ESS Fitness 1145: Elementary Bowling
It's amazing how flinging a ball down an oily lane thereby making pins fly and make loud noises is a spectacular stress reliever...even when you're not very good.  Thanks for putting up with me, Alec.

DYAC (Click it to read it)

Gender Studies 5770: Gender and Sexual Orientation
Dr. Lisa Diamond changed my life.  I could never thank you enough for all "ah-ha!" moments, self discovery, and self acceptance you inspired in me.  YOU literally changed my life; I don't care how cliché I sound!

Mathematics 3150: Partial Differential Equations for Engineers
My professor was a godsend.  At the time, I felt like I was dying from mono, so I made a deal with him that I would no longer be doing the homework, but prove to him I knew the material through exams.  In short, I got the high on the final.  Thank you, Prof. Allison.

Physics 1330: Physics of Audio and Video
Yes, 1330.  I took this for the hell of it and I thoroughly enjoyed it, thank you.

Physics 3610: Electronics I
I now cringe when I see electronics schematics.  I should mention, I ACED the final in this class.

See?  Terrifying.

ESS Fitness 1145: Elementary Bowling
Yep, I took it twice.  Wanna make somethin' of it?!

I eventually got my own ball!

Mathematics 3160: Applied Complex Variables
Oddly enough, I think this may have been my favorite math class.  It was also my LAST math class...  There may or may not be a correlation.

Two of my favorite mathematical cartoon characters

Physics 4910: Technical Communication and Scientific Judgement
This class was so good and so tough.  I learned to get comfortable presenting to an audience, that group work is a bitch, and some people say "like" WAY too many times when they're publicly speaking.

Psychology 2800: Psychology of Love
Relationships are so damn complicated!!!  Also, it's very strange to be taking this class when beginning a new, albeit poor and pretty damn hopeless, relationship.

Psychology 3000: Statistical Methods in Psychology
Part of me is still angry I had to take this class for a psychology MINOR composed of classes which didn't even require the class as a prerequisite.  This would be the definition of a weed-out class.  I recommend taking it online if you have some self motivation.

Senior Year I `10 -`11

Art History 3600: The History of Photography
I LOVED this class.  I found even more photographs to love almost as much as Richard Avedon's Marilyn Monroe.  I wrote about them a while back.  I even posted a paper I wrote for this class - Today I Asked Why.

Nutrition 1020: Scientific Foundations of Nutrition and Health
This class left me thoroughly disappointed in our country.

Physics 3410: Modern Optics I & II
This class had one of the most time consuming labs ever...if you don't count the undergrad lab class.

Physics 5010: Theoretical Classical Mechanics and Quantum Mechanics
I withdrew from this class.  My life changed this semester...fucking kidney stone.

Physics 3730: Introduction to Computing in Physics
I never want to be a computer programmer.

Physics 5110: Introduction to Particle Physics
This professor takes the prize for the most difficult to understand.  Probably not an award of which one should be proud.

Senior Year II `11 -`12

Physics 5010: Theoretical Classical Mechanics and Quantum Mechanics
Yeah...this again.  Good thing I saved most of the material from last time.

Physics 3719: Undergraduate Laboratory
Thank HEAVEN for Jessica.  Oh, and thank you Whitney for explaining "the tone."

Physics 5020: Theoretical Electricity and Magnetism and Statistical Mechanics
This is bound to be pretty awful.

Psychology 3440: Personality Theory
This is bound to be pretty amazing.

---

So in the end, I deserve it, right?  Right.

I'm almost an official physicist!!!  Do you know what this means?  YOU will know a physicist.  Yep, you!

Thank you all!

Love,
Jason