Mon Corps

I recently had a bout with food poisoning.  While sitting on or worshiping the toilet, I was amazed at the urgency of my body's evacuation method.  I had no conscious say as to whether this "everything must go" event was truly necessary.  My body just decided it must be so.  So I had no other choice but to trust my body and go along with this horrendous expulsion technique.

To get my mind off of the misery, I attempted to remove my consciousness from the situation as much as I could.  I didn't make it very far, but I did have a light-bulb moment I hadn't experienced in this way before.  I realized there is something "inside" me that knows this body of mine is only a temporary mechanism it must inhabit to be here.  Here on this planet.  This part of me made me literally laugh at how silly and absurd my situation was and reassured me that what was happening to my body was only temporary would allow me to be on this planet for longer.  Well, for at least as long as I'm supposed to be here.

Our bodies are unfathomably intricate.  It's a miracle anyone is even alive.  It's a miracle anyone has babies.  It's a miracle we're all not (more) physically and mentally deformed considering how horribly wrong everything could go while we grow.

Almost all of our bodily functions happen without our say.  It's absolutely astounding.  Just like I didn't have a say as to whether I wanted to be vomiting and have diarrhea all night, I also had no say when I started losing my baby teeth...when I started puberty...when my voice changed...  I don't think about beating my heart, breathing, digesting...even walking sometimes seems so natural that I dare say I don't think about it.

All of these things that are so trivial from an eternal perspective, our bodies just do for us so we can live out our meaningful life here on Earth.  Not having to think about running our vital organs lets us think about the things that are truly important...and the things that drive us insane.  Sometimes it would be nice to escape because "I'm too busy digesting my breakfast, beating my heart, breathing, growing my nails and hair, and splitting millions of other cells to replace the ones that died..."  But that'd get old; really fast.  And nothing else would ever be accomplished!  We'd all just lie down at home breathing, beating our heart, and digesting....  I get annoyed enough that I have to eat, "use" the bathroom, and sleep...but I'd rather consciously do those than anything even more rudimentary.

Now that I am running out of rambles to try to explain my little light-bulb moment, here is my point.  I believe I will exist in some conscious form after my body has become too worn to continue automatically keeping itself alive.  I believe I also existed in some form before I inhabited this extremely imperfect, yet miraculous, body.  I believe this so strongly, in fact, that this belief's depth and origin seem unexplainable...  Some people call it their spirit, some call it their soul...I'm not sure what I want to call it.  But I know there is a part of me that will outlast this physical existence.  It will be a bittersweet moment to let go of this seemingly shoddy exterior shell...  Right now, it's all I know and all I have.  But until then, ceci est mon corps et je le protéger.
 

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