Betrayal

I thought I understood betrayal;
deceit;
hypocrisy;
abandonment;
withdrawal;
fraud;
let-down.
Then I grew up.

Life betrayed me that day.

Life stopped going the way I always imagined it would. It's life's fault I feel this way, not mine.
Life took away my love.
Life took away my home.
Life took away my security.
Life took away my clarity.
Life took away my god.

How can I possibly trust again?
Men deceive,
business is fraudulent,
home abandons,
friends let down,
meds withdraw,
and religion is a hypocrite.
Life betrayed me.

How dare Life not Live up to my grandiose, pies-in-the-sky, rainbows-and-unicorns expectations? Pies make a mess when they fall from so high in the sky.

Betrayal has left me bitter and begging for a breath of blissfulness in which my brain can bathe.

I did this to myself. Does that mean I can fix it?

Fag.

I hate this word.
Not surprisingly, I also hate the word "faggot."
I'm actually cringing as I type these.
I'm not going to type it again.

In my world, this f word is like the n word.
...Only I don't allow other homos to use this word around/at me either.
It's not funny.

Some words have a tendency to carry as much baggage as a cargo jet.
This is one of those words.
No matter how lightheartedly it is used...
No matter how often it is used...
No matter how incorrectly it is used...
No matter who uses it...
Its intensity does not fade,
It's still derogatory,
It still hurts,
and it's still rude.

In fact, it's abusive.

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