Betrayal

I thought I understood betrayal;
deceit;
hypocrisy;
abandonment;
withdrawal;
fraud;
let-down.
Then I grew up.

Life betrayed me that day.

Life stopped going the way I always imagined it would. It's life's fault I feel this way, not mine.
Life took away my love.
Life took away my home.
Life took away my security.
Life took away my clarity.
Life took away my god.

How can I possibly trust again?
Men deceive,
business is fraudulent,
home abandons,
friends let down,
meds withdraw,
and religion is a hypocrite.
Life betrayed me.

How dare Life not Live up to my grandiose, pies-in-the-sky, rainbows-and-unicorns expectations? Pies make a mess when they fall from so high in the sky.

Betrayal has left me bitter and begging for a breath of blissfulness in which my brain can bathe.

I did this to myself. Does that mean I can fix it?

You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Some of you may find this sarcastic and rude, some of you may find this loving and sincere.  You're all correct...it's everything, but I certainly have no intention to offend.  Sure, there is a slight "airing of grievances" feel, but it's just a jumble of my thoughts.

You find out who your friends are when they visit you regularly,
When they support you at your job by SPENDING MONEY to see your work's latest play or attraction,
When they don't complain about the price of your work's shows or admission,
When they don't ask you if they can get in for free or for a discount,
When they know your job title,
When they know what your actual job duties are (If you spend the time explaining them, that is.),
When they know your major,
When they know your minor...s,
When they come to Europe with you,
When they do all they can to go to Europe with you but just plain can't go,
When they stab you in the back,
When they leave and never come back,
When they leave without saying goodbye,
When they tell you all the things you do that drive them absolutely insane but let you do them anyway because it doesn't really matter,
When they won't tell you what's bugging them and keep it all inside until they either fade away or blow up in your face,
When they say "I love you,"
When they say "I hate you,"
When they call you a fag,
When they call you a bitch (or betch),
When they like your boyfriend so much they can hang out together without you,
When they put on a gas mask for you,
When they make a fool of themselves in front of you,
When they let you vent about your frustrations with the LDS Church and just say "I know! I'm so sorry!  It sucks!" rather than starting a fruitless debate,
When they accept a present from you,
When they fail to accept a present from you,
When they give you a present,
And when they ask you what you'd like for a present so you receive something you'd actually like to have.

10 Down, 1 To Go - Thank You!

I'm graduating from college in May.  On May 4, 2012, to be exact, but who's really keeping track? Then I'm leaving my job and running away to Europe for a month.  Sounds amazing and you're extremely jealous of me, right???

Anyway...

First, I want to take a moment to reflect on the past 5 years of my college life and publicly acknowledge some family, friends, and coworkers who have continually supported me and helped me survive.

Mom and Dad:  What troopers.  From my giddy freshman excitement, to my mono year and kidney stone, to the impending senioritis, thank you for always being there to hear me rant, rave, complain, scream, cry, bitch, and cry some more at all hours of the day or night.  Thank you for letting...no...encouraging me to be me.  Thank you for listening to me nerd out like I do.  Thank you for being interested in me, my school, my work, my coworkers, and my friends.

Stacie and Anita:  I couldn't have asked for more amazing coworkers.  I still feel so lucky and blessed that I had the opportunity to work with both of you.  Not many people get the chance to do what we did.  And at my young age, I am so thankful I was able to do it with you.  Thank you for being great coworkers, mentors, and most of all, my friends.  I love you both dearly!

Stacie, Me, and Anita:  The UTemps Team

Katie:  Thank you for putting up with my and Ryan's Canada jokes.  Thank you for choosing me (you know what I'm talking about...haha).  Thank you for helping to keep us in contact and organizing lunches and dinners.  Thank you for always being there to talk to and for never judging me.  You are one of the sweetest people I know and I absolutely love you!

Moi et Katie

Ryan:  Thank you for making nerdiness so sexy.  Thank you for your eye contact.  Thank you for being an amazing study buddy.  Thank you for all of the intellectual conversations about gender, sexuality, religion, and everything else both physics-y and non-physics-y.  I miss you!

Jessica:  You are absolutely the best lab partner anyone could ask for!  Thank you for always being on the same crazy wavelength as me, even though it's not actually you're choice and in reality you're just as crazy as me.  Thank you for taking Lisa's class with me - that was an amazing experience to share with you.  Thank you for being so freaking funny.  I love you!

Allie and Lindsey:  Thank you for putting up with mono me.  Thank you for the Denny's nights.  Thank you for the laughing attacks.  Thank you for Disneyland.  Thank you for the cabin, which was exactly like Disneyland, only completely different.  Thank you for being amazing friends!  Oh, and Lindsey...EUROPE!

DISNEYLAND!!!

Tate:  Thank you for returning to my life.  Thank you for always supporting me, encouraging me, and doing your absolute best to understand me.  Thank you for listening to me nerd out.  I love you so much and I can't wait to see where life takes us next!

Yes, we are usually acting or looking like dorks.

Diane:  Thank you for taking a "risk" and hiring a physics major.  Thank you for your infinite flexibility around my health and school.  I would never have guessed I'd work in a theatre...but I have absolutely loved it!

---

Now that I got the sappy part out of the way, let's talk about what I've accomplished here and why I deserve this degree.  (It's tough to tell if I'm doing this to help ward off senioritis and keep me motivated or if I'm just trying to impress all of you.)  I'm a super nerd, so I've obviously kept track of every class I've taken over the past 5 years.  And here they are with my (sometimes witty) comments!!!

Freshman Year `07 -`08

Allie, me, and Barbara "Poochigian-ing It Up"

Classical Civilizations 1550: Classical Mythology
Poochigian.  Enough said.

Educational Psychology 2600: Strategies for College Success
Taking AP classes in high school made this class borderline useless...

Mathematics 2210: Calculus III
It's like calculus I and II, only in THREEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEE!

Writing 2010: Intermediate Writing
Katy Savage, how I love you.  You and I clicked when it came to humor.  Thank you for encouraging me to write!

Art 2060: Non-Major Digital Photography
I, mister science, got an A- in an art class.  Hell yes!  I'll take it.  Digital Photography:  Art for Scientists.  I also must give this class credit for introducing me to Richard Avedon and his portrait of Marilyn Monroe.  You may have heard I enjoy this photograph.

Mathematics 2270: Linear Algebra
Horrible class.  Horrible teacher.  Katie flirted for her grade.  Admit it.

Physics 1980: Undergraduate Seminar II
They made me take it...

Physics 2215: Physics Lab I for Scientists and Engineers
Per...rwrwrwwrrw...iod.  That means "period" in Asian.

Physics 3210: Physics for Scientists I
Ugh...I don't wanna talk about it.

Summer `08

Mathematics 2280: Introduction to Differential Equations
Gray is usually a bad choice...especially if you're overweight and it's the middle of summer in Utah...if you catch my drift.

Sophomore Year `08 -`09

Mathematics 3210: Foundations of Analysis I
Even though we only spent one day in the Naval Sciences building with no AC, I now know how Italian students feel when they're in class sweating like an Italian fountain and have an Italian man saying math at them.

Physics 1970: Undergraduate Seminar I
You guessed it, they made me take this too...

Physics 2225: Physics Lab II for Scientists and Engineers
Ming Dynasty.  At least I think it was Ming...

Physics 3220: Physics for Scientists II
I don't wanna talk about this either.

Political Science 1100: United States National Government
The only reason this class was somewhat interesting is because I took it in Fall 2008: aka, election season.

My county is blue...
I felt that needed to be brought to attention.

Mathematics 3220: Foundations of Analysis II
Every review I had read about my professor, Dr. Taylor, (also the author of our "book") was horribly negative.  I was terrified of him before I'd even met him.  Turns out he was one of the most fair professors I had my entire college career.

Physics 3740: Introduction to Quantum Mechanics and Relativity
Quite possibly the biggest asshole of a professor I had my entire college career.

Physics 3760: Thermodynamics and Statistical Mechanics
I HATE thermodynamics.  I also HATE statistical mechanics.  At least the professor was nice even though he was sometimes difficult to understand.

Psychology 1010: General Psychology
This was quite the psych overview...thank goodness Kelly was in it with me.

Junior Year `09 -`10

ESS Fitness 1145: Elementary Bowling
It's amazing how flinging a ball down an oily lane thereby making pins fly and make loud noises is a spectacular stress reliever...even when you're not very good.  Thanks for putting up with me, Alec.

DYAC (Click it to read it)

Gender Studies 5770: Gender and Sexual Orientation
Dr. Lisa Diamond changed my life.  I could never thank you enough for all "ah-ha!" moments, self discovery, and self acceptance you inspired in me.  YOU literally changed my life; I don't care how cliché I sound!

Mathematics 3150: Partial Differential Equations for Engineers
My professor was a godsend.  At the time, I felt like I was dying from mono, so I made a deal with him that I would no longer be doing the homework, but prove to him I knew the material through exams.  In short, I got the high on the final.  Thank you, Prof. Allison.

Physics 1330: Physics of Audio and Video
Yes, 1330.  I took this for the hell of it and I thoroughly enjoyed it, thank you.

Physics 3610: Electronics I
I now cringe when I see electronics schematics.  I should mention, I ACED the final in this class.

See?  Terrifying.

ESS Fitness 1145: Elementary Bowling
Yep, I took it twice.  Wanna make somethin' of it?!

I eventually got my own ball!

Mathematics 3160: Applied Complex Variables
Oddly enough, I think this may have been my favorite math class.  It was also my LAST math class...  There may or may not be a correlation.

Two of my favorite mathematical cartoon characters

Physics 4910: Technical Communication and Scientific Judgement
This class was so good and so tough.  I learned to get comfortable presenting to an audience, that group work is a bitch, and some people say "like" WAY too many times when they're publicly speaking.

Psychology 2800: Psychology of Love
Relationships are so damn complicated!!!  Also, it's very strange to be taking this class when beginning a new, albeit poor and pretty damn hopeless, relationship.

Psychology 3000: Statistical Methods in Psychology
Part of me is still angry I had to take this class for a psychology MINOR composed of classes which didn't even require the class as a prerequisite.  This would be the definition of a weed-out class.  I recommend taking it online if you have some self motivation.

Senior Year I `10 -`11

Art History 3600: The History of Photography
I LOVED this class.  I found even more photographs to love almost as much as Richard Avedon's Marilyn Monroe.  I wrote about them a while back.  I even posted a paper I wrote for this class - Today I Asked Why.

Nutrition 1020: Scientific Foundations of Nutrition and Health
This class left me thoroughly disappointed in our country.

Physics 3410: Modern Optics I & II
This class had one of the most time consuming labs ever...if you don't count the undergrad lab class.

Physics 5010: Theoretical Classical Mechanics and Quantum Mechanics
I withdrew from this class.  My life changed this semester...fucking kidney stone.

Physics 3730: Introduction to Computing in Physics
I never want to be a computer programmer.

Physics 5110: Introduction to Particle Physics
This professor takes the prize for the most difficult to understand.  Probably not an award of which one should be proud.

Senior Year II `11 -`12

Physics 5010: Theoretical Classical Mechanics and Quantum Mechanics
Yeah...this again.  Good thing I saved most of the material from last time.

Physics 3719: Undergraduate Laboratory
Thank HEAVEN for Jessica.  Oh, and thank you Whitney for explaining "the tone."

Physics 5020: Theoretical Electricity and Magnetism and Statistical Mechanics
This is bound to be pretty awful.

Psychology 3440: Personality Theory
This is bound to be pretty amazing.

---

So in the end, I deserve it, right?  Right.

I'm almost an official physicist!!!  Do you know what this means?  YOU will know a physicist.  Yep, you!

Thank you all!

Love,
Jason

Depression, Anxiety, Love...and Other Drugs

*tap*tap*tap*

I can't write.

Why?

Well, the title pretty much explains it all.  It's also not vague in any way.

Okay, maybe it's a little vague considering I kind of copied a movie title a little tiny bit.

I have depression and anxiety.  Both are likely inherited (thanks, parents).  I have always been a rather anxious person.  I figure a large portion of my anxiety was actually learned and conditioned considering I grew up "different" and Mormon.  To say the least, that calls for a lot of nervous times.

Of course I have also been depressed at times...even suicidal.  But this time it's different.

Miserable Emptiness

There's no foundation to the sadness.  I feel an emptiness I believe could never be reconciled.  A void that could absolutely never be filled.  I don't want to do anything.  I don't want to move.  I don't want to talk.  I don't want to wake up.  I don't want to sleep.  If I sleep, I have to eventually wake up and...and...do something.  I don't want to see my friends.  I don't want to see my boyfriend.  I don't want to see my family.  It makes me sick.

I want to quit school.  I want to quit my job...s.  I want to quit.  I don't necessarily want to die, but I want to hurt myself so I can prove to you all how sick I am.  So I can prove to you how much I need to quit school...to quit my jobs...s.

I want to run away.  Running away will fix everything.  It will fix nothing.

I'm in love.  It's weird to be in love for the first time and also be extremely depressed.  And then to be taking an antidepressant that increases your anxiety five-fold.  I'm in love.  Why now?  What bizarre timing.

I want to run away...with him.  That will fix everything.  It will fix nothing.

I can't write.

I'm afraid to write.

I'm afraid to tell you what is going on with me.

I'm again afraid of being judged and having even more stereotypes hurled at me.

I want to run away.  I'll run until the pills, pills, and more pills kick in and fix everything.  They'll fix nothing.

They won't fix me.

They won't fix my family.

They won't fix the business.

They won't fix my boyfriend.

They won't fix my relationship with him either.

I guess I have to participate too.

I want to run away.  I want to hide until I have the energy to help the pills.

They're so demanding of me.

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

MONO Lessons (Part XVII: 343 - 365)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

---

343. Surprisingly, Lagoon is actually more fun picnic-style.

344. I miss her.

345. Even when I thought it couldn’t be done, they hurt me even more than they already had.

346. This must be what “I think I’m falling in love” feels like.

347. My past feels like someone else’s life.

348. Nutrition in this country is deplorable.

349. The Food Pyramid changed since I was in elementary school and nobody told me.

350. Another thing nobody ever told me:  You’re supposed to poop at least once a day!  This makes me unbelievably angry.  Why did nobody ever tell me this?!

351. Life is better when you’re regular.

352. When you’ve got momentum, ride it.  Ride it hard.

353. Photoshop CS2 is very…manual.  It’s like driving a stick shift.  I’ve never driven a stick shift, but I assume they are similar to Photoshop CS2…only completely different.

354. Wendover is like the cabin…only completely different.

355. Lagoon + Cabin + Swollen Glands + School Starting = Kidney Stone + 10(PAIN)

356. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between someone giving you a look of disgust and checking you out.

357. Low potassium increases one’s risk of kidney stones.  Why the HELL did nobody mention this to me?  I read this in my nutrition 1020 book.  1020.  You know what 1020 means?  Easy.  What is wrong with our healthcare system?!?

358. Hard decisions are hard.

359. When the momentum is against you, sometimes you can’t keep fighting it any more.

360. I wear my emotions on my sleeve…and my face.

361. I wouldn't do it again, but I would NEVER take it back.

362. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life.  It’s overwhelming and a bit frightening.

363. A W is better than not passing due to exhaustion.

364. Every time I read my nutrition book, I become more furious towards society and healthcare.

365. I’m not the only gurgler.

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

MONO Lessons (Part XVI: 321 - 342)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

---

321. I like him.  I like him a lot.

322. I haven’t had the opportunity to be just friends with someone before dating them.  The transition is so pleasant and non-nerve-racking.  Natural, if you will.

323. I suddenly like the song “Head Over Feet” by Alanis Morissette…hmmm…

324. It’s even weirder to have completed Psychology of Love a couple of months ago and now beginning an actual new relationship.  Talk about textbook…

325. I CAN MAKE GLUTEN-FREE, DAIRY-FREE, & EGG-FREE OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES!!!  Epic day.  07/11/10.

326. That woman lives her life through her pain-body.  How sad.

327. Minds can change extremely fast.

328. I have identified five collective pain-bodies in which I have a stake:

a. The American Gay (LGBTQ+) Pain-Body

b. The Mormon (LDS) Pain-Body

c. The Gay Mormon Pain-Body

d. The Food Allergy Pain-Body

e. The Gluten-Intolerant/Celiac Pain-Body

329. I find hidden Mickey’s in my everyday life.

330. I’m capable of sending and receiving an “It’s me” voicemail.

331. The past can truly be haunting.

332. “D-BOX” isn’t dirty, it’s just a vibratey seat!

333. When I like a movie enough, I can see it 5 times in 15 days.  Inception rocks.

334. Monday, August 30, 2010:  Kidney stone.  Worst.  Pain.  EVER.

335. Guess what?  Potassium, still only inching it’s way up.  I have far more blood tests than I would prefer.

336. If they changed their mind and “accepted” me, I don’t think I would go back.  The damage is done.

337. Clubbing is much more tolerable with a significant other.

338. Blogging is like therapy.

339. Protests and rallies are like therapy.

340. Wendover is so sleazy it’s spectacular.

341. Gambling is kinda stupid…

342. Saying “my boyfriend” makes me all giddy.  *sigh*

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

MONO Lessons (Part XV: 300 - 320)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

---

300. Some places are just not worth spending the time, energy, and money to eat (particularly gluten-free) at.  I apologize for ending that sentence with a preposition.

301. It’s hard enough for me without the perpetual snide comments.

302. Mood changes can be sudden and unannounced with an obviously noticeable shift as well as sudden and announced with no detectable actual change.

303. Flash drives can never be solely trusted.

304. I feel extremely gratified when my re-petition is approved and I got everything I wanted in the first place.

305. Pride will forever be a gluten-free food that I will be swallowing regularly.

306. I can even survive 8+ vials of blood being taken from my arm!

307. It’s really weird knowing more than your own doctor…you know…the one who knows everything.

308. Back on May 3, 2010, I realized I was in limerence with her.  That’s what happened!  You can be in limerence with the “wrong” gender.  Now I finally have a name for it!

309. These foods, oddly, have gluten in them:

a. Soy Sauce

b. Teriyaki Sauce

c. Blue Cheese

d. Marinades and Seasonings

e. Couscous – it’s actually a pasta

f. Malt (malt anything comes from barley)

g. Caramel Flavor

h. Caramel Color (but usually not any more)

i. Roasted/Glazed/Candied Nuts

j. Vitamins

k. Gravy

l. Oats…kind of…but not really.  They are all too often contaminated with gluten, but don’t possess any of their own gluten.  This is always a wonderful conversation starter.  (See Lesson 274)

m. Tofu.  Wha?!  I know, right?  Stupid wheat fillers.  (As a side note, Kofu is 99.999% pure gluten.  Note to self: Definitely avoid Kofu.)

n. Licorice

o. Imitation seafood, like imitation crab

310. These foods are shockingly gluten-free

a. Buckwheat

b. Glutinous rice

c. Corn gluten

d. Wheat grass

e. Fruity Pebbles – For some odd reason I assumed they were gluteny…

f. Rumbi’s chicken.  I swear to you, everyone else’s chicken is marinated in gluten!

311. My potassium STILL isn’t as high as I was hoping.  What the crap?!?  No wonder my heart still has episodes.

312. It’s nice to be on the same page this time around.  Thanks for giving me a break this time around, universe.

313. “Don’t look for Mr. Right, be Mr. Right and the rest will fall into place.” – MB

314. As usual, summer brings people out of the woodwork.

315. Scalp Oil + Shower Cap + Big Gun Acne Spot Treatment + Extra Lotion Around Lips = Jason Looks Like a Freaking Monster at Bedtime

316. I now have empathy for people with scalp issues ranging from mild dandruff to full-fledged scalp psoriasis.

317. Writing and mailing letters to people is really rather fun.

318. Sometimes I go WAY too long without writing mono lessons.  They then get backed up (constipated, if you will) in my brain and then finally spill out all over the place.

319. A lot can change in a year.  Namely feelings.  Stupid fickle feelings.

320. Oddly, confusion is sometimes rather peaceful.  Wha?

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

Passed Past

Leave me alone!
I'm sick of you!
All you do is nag and complain!
You're so damn needy!
You demand excessive amounts of my attention.
And the worst part?  I give it to you.

Why do I keep doing this?
I accept the fact you were part of my life...but we broke up!
Can't we just move on and be cordial?

I keep lying for you...
I keep withholding for you...
I keep hiding for you...
I keep failing for you...
I keep (attempting) to impress for you...
I keep defending you...
I keep missing out...all so you won't hurt me!
Why does my crying excite you?
Some cowardly part of me is still terrified of you and you know it.
And some sick part of me gets off on the fear, misery, and torture you inflict.

Over and over and over again!

I can't help but re-over-analyze you in my head, to my friends, to my family, in my writing, in my talking, in my crying, and in my screaming.

I hate how I let you control me!

No matter how much I think I've put you behind me and officially passed you by...  No matter how many times I convince myself I've moved on...  No matter what I do, you always creep back into my life and wreak havoc.

Does this mean I'm not where I thought?  What am I missing?  Where am I in this continuum?  What do I need to do to keep you where you belong so you'll stop ruining my Now?

Have I not fully confronted you?
Have I not faced you head on like I thought I have...over and over and over again...?
Which one of us has the unresolved business?
...and what on earth will resolve it?!

I don't want to talk about you any more.  I don't want to think about you any more.  I deserve to think of happier things.  I would much rather waste my time on anything else but you.

I went through your colic-like torment to get where I am Now.  And you won't let me forget it.  Do you need a thank-you letter or a reward?  Do you want some sort of compensation?  Do you feel entitled to torturously remind me how you made me who I am?  Who is the victim here, anyway?  Just because you're miserable doesn't mean I have to be miserable with you!

I'm sick of your pity party.
Get over yourself.
Just die.
I deserve better than you.
Let me get on with my life; I can't keep waiting to live.

Now where was I...?

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

All this tiredness is making me sleepy.

I'm tired of being treated differently.
I'm so over being an exception.
I'm sick of everything I say and do being new, different, and "outside the box."

I'm spent making statements - political, social, religious...  

I'm done being "special." *gag* 

I'm tired of dodging possibly intellectual conversations.
I'm annoyed by the clumsy small talk.
I've had it with being the elephant in the room.
I'm worn out by my constantly burning ears.

I'm exhausted from hesitating.

I'm tired of being "abnormal."

I've had it up to here being called "homosexual."

I'm burnt out calling him "just a friend."

I'm disgusted with being your "gay friend."

I'm fed up with being the resident "gay couple."

I'm tired of being marginalized.

I'm tired of being classified. 

I'm tired of being compared - to gays, straights, and everyone in between...

I'm tired of being discriminated.

I'm tired of being stereotyped.

I'm tired of being an agenda.

I'm Jason.

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

MONO Lessons (Part XIV: 271- 299)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

---

271. I think someone has ADD…

272. Almond Breeze is my favorite milk replacement.  Mmmm

273. They make butters other than peanut butter.

274. Oats are a major topic of conversation.  Especially among Celiacs.

275. Immune systems are actually supposed to stop a cold from taking over your body.  Mine did that for the first time in years!  Hooray!

276. The Stanford Prison Experiment.  Ryan and I rocked this thing.

277. Gluten antibodies attack and chop down the villi in my small intestines.  Lactase, the enzyme that breaks down lactose, is created in the tip of the villi.  Hence, I will seem “lactose intolerant” until my villi grow back.

278. “Wheat-free” does NOT infer “gluten-free.”

279. Blogging is like a disease.  A rather contagious disease.

280. I’m a gatekeeper.

281. I live my life as an oxymoron.  I love oxymorons and paradoxes.

282. Mayonnaise is evil.  Of the devil, if you will.

283. I am eternally grateful for my past.  Without it, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

284. I am infinitely relieved to have made it through the reconciliation brawl physically alive, psychologically intact, mentally resilient, and spiritually affirmed.

285. “He’s not cute enough to be gay!” – SH.  I then burst out laughing.

286. Late at night, even regular humans can suddenly become cute, cuddly zombies.

287. I attached to UTemps like it was a person…

288. These tremendously complex bodies are bound to have a few minor errors.

289. Slumdog Millionaire is simply unbelievable and moves me in a way no movie ever has.

290. Really.  It’s not me!  It’s everybody else…. Trust me.

291. It’s not fair.  And that will continue to resonate in my mind.  It’s simply not fair.

292. Outback is a GF Mecca.  P.F. Chang's can be Mecca #2.

293. I think about them every single day…

294. “When in doubt, leave it out.” – Danna Korn from Living Gluten-Free for Dummies

295. Gluten could be the answer behind everything.

296. Some servers can really surprise me with their gluten-free skill and memory.  Really, though, he should have written it all down…I’m complicated.

297. I will meet my soul mate at Whole Foods.  I’m convinced.  See “Aaron the Whole Foods Boy."

298. Windows 7 doesn’t like power outages.

299. That said, F6 is the secret, magical, earth-saving button.

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

---

MONO Lessons (Part XIII: 246-270)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

---

246. March 1st’s abruptness can actually continue to surprise me, and more so each year.

247. While in the shower, I realized I haven't honestly had the drive to find a companion or a mate since last July (2009).  And the drive continues to be absent.  (Typed in late February / early March 2010.)

248. “Time just sifts through its sift.”  (from “Buildings” by Regina Spektor)

249. Swallowing pride isn’t all that bad.  And it’s gluten-free!!!

250. Communication is KEY…from every individual involved.

251. Timing is everything…still.

252. Reaching new levels of friendship are the best!

253. Rapture is found in challenging yourself.

254. Once you floss for a while, on a regular basis, that is, your gums eventually stop bleeding!

255. I can’t read your damn mind.

256. A lot of people just don’t understand depression and it’s not worth my time trying to get them to understand.

257. I love my friends to death…but they can sure do some things that really grind my gears.

258. Lack of communication pisses me off.

259. I never thought I could/would talk about poop so freely and easily.

260. Addendum to lesson #205:  Yes, nothing beats IMAX 3D, but nothing is more trippy than IMAX 3D on the front row.  Those numbers at the beginning…they literally hit you in the face.

261. “I have been running, so sweaty my whole life / Urgent for a finish line. / And I have been missing the rapture this whole time of being forever incomplete.” (from “Incomplete” by Alanis Morissette)  Alanis taught me this a while ago, but I thought it was worth adding to my list.

262. I can live without nasal spray finally.  A day for the history books:  Saturday, March 13, 2010 at 11:35PM I threw away my last bottle of nasal spray.  Since I hadn’t used it in a week, it seemed like an appropriate opportunity to get it out of my life.

263. All goat-derived products are absolutely repulsive.

264. Rubio’s is just plain amazing.

265. Giving an honest and positive opinion is really worthwhile.

266. I have absolutely no control over my intense attraction to certain people.

267. The only reason Saturday morning online class tests aren’t all that bad is the fact that I get to watch an episode of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers before driving up to the U.

268. Group work…ugh…it’s obnoxious, really.  Always has been, always will be.

269. When I get extremely angry about my food situation, I go on a gluten-free shopping spree and throw out intolerable food at home.

270. TMI, but I’ve never pooped this regularly before.  A good and healthy diet sure helps a lot.

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.