How do you do this to me?
How can I hate your hurtful heart,
But sigh for your smell on my sheets?
How can I loath your lousy lies,
But crave your counterfeit concurrence?
How can I despise your desperate devotion,
But pine for your perpetual and palpable presence?
How do you do this to me?
Since when did I hand you my reins?
This is my life to live,
Not yours to subliminally destroy.
Since when did my brain
Allow thoughts of you to drain
My will, my power to let go?
How do you do this to me?
Why do I do this to me?
Why do I let this good-for-nothin' guilt
Cloud my already cockeyed comprehension?
Why do I fantasize the future we were facing,
Instead of soul-searching and stabilizing my self?
Why do I desire a darling,
But have a forever fleeting focus?
Why do I do this to me?
Since when did I lose control of my reins?
This is my life to live,
Not yours to subliminally control.
Since when did my brain
Allow thoughts of you to drain
My will, my power to let go?
How do you do this to me?
How do I forget your love?
How do I leave behind my own?
I'll never forget our years together.
The memories have pierced my soul.
But, it's over.
I miss you and will always love you.
How do you do this to me?
Since when did I hand you my reins?
This is my life to live,
Not yours to subliminally control.
Since when did my brain
Allow thoughts of you to drain
My will, my power to let go?
How do you do this to me?
How do you do this to me?
How do you do this to me?
Goodbye.
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Thursday, October 25, 2012
MONO Lessons (Part XXI: 420 - 439)
Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons
420. I don’t know what to do with my last name if/when I get married. But I do know “Hoggan” won’t be leaving. It’s far too awesome.
421. I want an equation, variable, or unit named after me. “Then we take the Hoggan Cross Section…” “Find the Hoggan wavelength of…” “So after the algebra, we are left with 7 Hoggans…” Yes.
422. Opera is not my thing.
423. “Little Women” is just a boring story. Jo, grow up.
424. I should probably become a model. It may be my true calling in life.
425. Depressed and anxious people shouldn’t have to split their depression and anxiety pills. We need more size variety!
426. Seeing a car flip over in front of you due to another car running a red light causes intersection anxiety.
427. I’m in love. He drives me insane, but I love him. I’m in love.
428. I can go months without talking to someone and still know when they’re pulling an April Fools joke.
429. Gay marriage would be legal if it weren’t illegal. Think about it. That thought isn’t as stupid as it sounds.
430. Fortune cookies are disgusting.
431. Domes of fudge are splendid.
432. Hemorrhoids suck.
433. Sucker Punch…possibly too awesome?
434. Buckwheat is nasty. Even in maple-glazed cold cereal form.
435. I will never need to purchase an obnoxiously large, loud, and window-tinted truck to make up for any lack of “manhood,” thank you.
436. I don’t drink enough water.
437. I’m a meat-eating vegan. A carnivorous vegan, if you will. …Aaaaaand you will.
438. When I get an intense blog idea, move out of the way.
439. I like butt chins.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Daemon of The Past
Movies portray daemons in so many ways - some crawl, some swoop like ghosts, and some lurk faceless in the shadows. But the worst daemon of them all is The Past - unseen and non palpable.
The Past terrorizes the mind like the ghosts of asylum patients haunt the halls of their former home.
The Past is a liar. It fools you into believing a hologram. It's fake. It's a façade hiding your mind's eye from reality and The Truth.
The Past makes you angry and bitter. It makes you blame everyone...everything...except yourself.
The Past asserts you had no control. It was his fault. It was her fault. If only he didn't do that...if only she didn't say that...then things would be better for ME.
The Past is denial.
But at the same time, The Past is guilt and self-loathing. The Past is worthlessness and hopelessness. The Past digs a pit of shame and throws you in, spiraling toward the invisible bottom.
The Past enjoys being construed, twisted, and morphed into whatever causes you the most possible pain.
The Past then wants you to awaken its brother daemons in the people around you. Spread the pain and suffering!
The Past is a kidney stone of the mind. The pain is excruciating. It can even feel like you may die.
The Past makes you sadder than you ever thought possible. It makes your tear ducts shrivel. It makes your sleep scarce and strenuous.
The Past wants to break free and become reality. It will convince you its freedom will be your solace, when in fact, it is your demise.
The Past breaks free with death - your death. The escape from its torture lies in your own hands. You must die to alleviate the depression, pain, and tormenting anxiety The Past inflicts.
Of course this isn't The Truth. The Past destroys hope, butchers faith, and mocks The Truth.
But The Truth knows self eradication will only cause more pain - for your soul and those you leave behind.
The Truth may not be pretty, but it's not a big phony like The Past.
The Truth is now.
The Truth is here.
The Truth doesn't dabble with The Past.
The Truth doesn't fiddle with The Future.
The Truth is grace.
The Truth is the escape.
The Truth is happiness.
The Truth is Love.
The Truth is health and healing.
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| Photo by CodingNinja |
The Past terrorizes the mind like the ghosts of asylum patients haunt the halls of their former home.
The Past is a liar. It fools you into believing a hologram. It's fake. It's a façade hiding your mind's eye from reality and The Truth.
The Past makes you angry and bitter. It makes you blame everyone...everything...except yourself.
The Past asserts you had no control. It was his fault. It was her fault. If only he didn't do that...if only she didn't say that...then things would be better for ME.
The Past is denial.
But at the same time, The Past is guilt and self-loathing. The Past is worthlessness and hopelessness. The Past digs a pit of shame and throws you in, spiraling toward the invisible bottom.
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| Photo by brownspoon |
The Past then wants you to awaken its brother daemons in the people around you. Spread the pain and suffering!
The Past is a kidney stone of the mind. The pain is excruciating. It can even feel like you may die.
The Past makes you sadder than you ever thought possible. It makes your tear ducts shrivel. It makes your sleep scarce and strenuous.
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| Photo by F l S f a h .. ❥ |
The Past wants to break free and become reality. It will convince you its freedom will be your solace, when in fact, it is your demise.
The Past breaks free with death - your death. The escape from its torture lies in your own hands. You must die to alleviate the depression, pain, and tormenting anxiety The Past inflicts.
Of course this isn't The Truth. The Past destroys hope, butchers faith, and mocks The Truth.
But The Truth knows self eradication will only cause more pain - for your soul and those you leave behind.
 |
| Photo by lorrainemd |
The Truth is now.
The Truth is here.
The Truth doesn't dabble with The Past.
The Truth doesn't fiddle with The Future.
The Truth is grace.
The Truth is the escape.
The Truth is happiness.
The Truth is Love.
The Truth is health and healing.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
You Find Out Who Your Friends Are
Some of you may find this sarcastic and rude, some of you may find this loving and sincere. You're all correct...it's everything, but I certainly have no intention to offend. Sure, there is a slight "airing of grievances" feel, but it's just a jumble of my thoughts.
You find out who your friends are when they visit you regularly,
When they support you at your job by SPENDING MONEY to see your work's latest play or attraction,
When they don't complain about the price of your work's shows or admission,
When they don't ask you if they can get in for free or for a discount,
When they know your job title,
When they know what your actual job duties are (If you spend the time explaining them, that is.),
When they know your major,
When they know your minor...s,
When they come to Europe with you,
When they do all they can to go to Europe with you but just plain can't go,
When they stab you in the back,
When they leave and never come back,
When they leave without saying goodbye,
When they tell you all the things you do that drive them absolutely insane but let you do them anyway because it doesn't really matter,
When they won't tell you what's bugging them and keep it all inside until they either fade away or blow up in your face,
When they say "I love you,"
When they say "I hate you,"
When they call you a fag,
When they call you a bitch (or betch),
When they like your boyfriend so much they can hang out together without you,
When they put on a gas mask for you,
When they make a fool of themselves in front of you,
When they let you vent about your frustrations with the LDS Church and just say "I know! I'm so sorry! It sucks!" rather than starting a fruitless debate,
When they accept a present from you,
When they fail to accept a present from you,
When they give you a present,
And when they ask you what you'd like for a present so you receive something you'd actually like to have.
You find out who your friends are when they visit you regularly,
When they support you at your job by SPENDING MONEY to see your work's latest play or attraction,
When they don't complain about the price of your work's shows or admission,
When they don't ask you if they can get in for free or for a discount,
When they know your job title,
When they know what your actual job duties are (If you spend the time explaining them, that is.),
When they know your major,
When they know your minor...s,
When they come to Europe with you,
When they do all they can to go to Europe with you but just plain can't go,
When they stab you in the back,
When they leave and never come back,
When they leave without saying goodbye,
When they tell you all the things you do that drive them absolutely insane but let you do them anyway because it doesn't really matter,
When they won't tell you what's bugging them and keep it all inside until they either fade away or blow up in your face,
When they say "I love you,"
When they say "I hate you,"
When they call you a fag,
When they call you a bitch (or betch),
When they like your boyfriend so much they can hang out together without you,
When they put on a gas mask for you,
When they make a fool of themselves in front of you,
When they let you vent about your frustrations with the LDS Church and just say "I know! I'm so sorry! It sucks!" rather than starting a fruitless debate,
When they accept a present from you,
When they fail to accept a present from you,
When they give you a present,
And when they ask you what you'd like for a present so you receive something you'd actually like to have.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
10 Down, 1 To Go - Thank You!
First, I want to take a moment to reflect on the past 5 years of my college life and publicly acknowledge some family, friends, and coworkers who have continually supported me and helped me survive.
Mom and Dad: What troopers. From my giddy freshman excitement, to my mono year and kidney stone, to the impending senioritis, thank you for always being there to hear me rant, rave, complain, scream, cry, bitch, and cry some more at all hours of the day or night. Thank you for letting...no...encouraging me to be me. Thank you for listening to me nerd out like I do. Thank you for being interested in me, my school, my work, my coworkers, and my friends.
Stacie and Anita: I couldn't have asked for more amazing coworkers. I still feel so lucky and blessed that I had the opportunity to work with both of you. Not many people get the chance to do what we did. And at my young age, I am so thankful I was able to do it with you. Thank you for being great coworkers, mentors, and most of all, my friends. I love you both dearly!
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| Stacie, Me, and Anita: The UTemps Team |
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| Moi et Katie |
Jessica: You are absolutely the best lab partner anyone could ask for! Thank you for always being on the same crazy wavelength as me, even though it's not actually you're choice and in reality you're just as crazy as me. Thank you for taking Lisa's class with me - that was an amazing experience to share with you. Thank you for being so freaking funny. I love you!
Allie and Lindsey: Thank you for putting up with mono me. Thank you for the Denny's nights. Thank you for the laughing attacks. Thank you for Disneyland. Thank you for the cabin, which was exactly like Disneyland, only completely different. Thank you for being amazing friends! Oh, and Lindsey...EUROPE!
 |
| DISNEYLAND!!! |
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| Yes, we are usually acting or looking like dorks. |
Now that I got the sappy part out of the way, let's talk about what I've accomplished here and why I deserve this degree. (It's tough to tell if I'm doing this to help ward off senioritis and keep me motivated or if I'm just trying to impress all of you.) I'm a super nerd, so I've obviously kept track of every class I've taken over the past 5 years. And here they are with my (sometimes witty) comments!!!
Freshman Year `07 -`08
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| Allie, me, and Barbara "Poochigian-ing It Up" |
Classical Civilizations 1550: Classical Mythology
Poochigian. Enough said.
Educational Psychology 2600: Strategies for College Success
Taking AP classes in high school made this class borderline useless...
Mathematics 2210: Calculus III
It's like calculus I and II, only in THREEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEE!
Writing 2010: Intermediate Writing
Katy Savage, how I love you. You and I clicked when it came to humor. Thank you for encouraging me to write!
Art 2060: Non-Major Digital Photography
I, mister science, got an A- in an art class. Hell yes! I'll take it. Digital Photography: Art for Scientists. I also must give this class credit for introducing me to Richard Avedon and his portrait of Marilyn Monroe. You may have heard I enjoy this photograph.
Mathematics 2270: Linear Algebra
Horrible class. Horrible teacher. Katie flirted for her grade. Admit it.
Physics 1980: Undergraduate Seminar II
They made me take it...
Physics 2215: Physics Lab I for Scientists and Engineers
Per...rwrwrwwrrw...iod. That means "period" in Asian.
Physics 3210: Physics for Scientists I
Ugh...I don't wanna talk about it.
Summer `08
Mathematics 2280: Introduction to Differential Equations
Gray is usually a bad choice...especially if you're overweight and it's the middle of summer in Utah...if you catch my drift.
Sophomore Year `08 -`09
Mathematics 3210: Foundations of Analysis I
Even though we only spent one day in the Naval Sciences building with no AC, I now know how Italian students feel when they're in class sweating like an Italian fountain and have an Italian man saying math at them.
Physics 1970: Undergraduate Seminar I
You guessed it, they made me take this too...
Physics 2225: Physics Lab II for Scientists and Engineers
Ming Dynasty. At least I think it was Ming...
Physics 3220: Physics for Scientists II
I don't wanna talk about this either.
Political Science 1100: United States National Government
The only reason this class was somewhat interesting is because I took it in Fall 2008: aka, election season.
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| My county is blue... I felt that needed to be brought to attention. |
Every review I had read about my professor, Dr. Taylor, (also the author of our "book") was horribly negative. I was terrified of him before I'd even met him. Turns out he was one of the most fair professors I had my entire college career.
Physics 3740: Introduction to Quantum Mechanics and Relativity
Quite possibly the biggest asshole of a professor I had my entire college career.
Physics 3760: Thermodynamics and Statistical Mechanics
I HATE thermodynamics. I also HATE statistical mechanics. At least the professor was nice even though he was sometimes difficult to understand.
Psychology 1010: General Psychology
This was quite the psych overview...thank goodness Kelly was in it with me.
Junior Year `09 -`10
ESS Fitness 1145: Elementary Bowling
It's amazing how flinging a ball down an oily lane thereby making pins fly and make loud noises is a spectacular stress reliever...even when you're not very good. Thanks for putting up with me, Alec.
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| DYAC (Click it to read it) |
Dr. Lisa Diamond changed my life. I could never thank you enough for all "ah-ha!" moments, self discovery, and self acceptance you inspired in me. YOU literally changed my life; I don't care how cliché I sound!
Mathematics 3150: Partial Differential Equations for Engineers
My professor was a godsend. At the time, I felt like I was dying from mono, so I made a deal with him that I would no longer be doing the homework, but prove to him I knew the material through exams. In short, I got the high on the final. Thank you, Prof. Allison.
Physics 1330: Physics of Audio and Video
Yes, 1330. I took this for the hell of it and I thoroughly enjoyed it, thank you.
Physics 3610: Electronics I
I now cringe when I see electronics schematics. I should mention, I ACED the final in this class.
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| See? Terrifying. |
Yep, I took it twice. Wanna make somethin' of it?!
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| I eventually got my own ball! |
Oddly enough, I think this may have been my favorite math class. It was also my LAST math class... There may or may not be a correlation.
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| Two of my favorite mathematical cartoon characters |
This class was so good and so tough. I learned to get comfortable presenting to an audience, that group work is a bitch, and some people say "like" WAY too many times when they're publicly speaking.
Psychology 2800: Psychology of Love
Relationships are so damn complicated!!! Also, it's very strange to be taking this class when beginning a new, albeit poor and pretty damn hopeless, relationship.
Psychology 3000: Statistical Methods in Psychology
Part of me is still angry I had to take this class for a psychology MINOR composed of classes which didn't even require the class as a prerequisite. This would be the definition of a weed-out class. I recommend taking it online if you have some self motivation.Senior Year I `10 -`11
Art History 3600: The History of Photography
I LOVED this class. I found even more photographs to love almost as much as Richard Avedon's Marilyn Monroe. I wrote about them a while back. I even posted a paper I wrote for this class - Today I Asked Why.
Nutrition 1020: Scientific Foundations of Nutrition and Health
This class left me thoroughly disappointed in our country.
Physics 3410: Modern Optics I & II
This class had one of the most time consuming labs ever...if you don't count the undergrad lab class.
Physics 5010: Theoretical Classical Mechanics and Quantum Mechanics
I withdrew from this class. My life changed this semester...fucking kidney stone.
Physics 3730: Introduction to Computing in PhysicsI never want to be a computer programmer.
Physics 5110: Introduction to Particle Physics
This professor takes the prize for the most difficult to understand. Probably not an award of which one should be proud.
Senior Year II `11 -`12
Physics 5010: Theoretical Classical Mechanics and Quantum Mechanics
Yeah...this again. Good thing I saved most of the material from last time.
Physics 3719: Undergraduate Laboratory
Thank HEAVEN for Jessica. Oh, and thank you Whitney for explaining "the tone."
Physics 5020: Theoretical Electricity and Magnetism and Statistical Mechanics
This is bound to be pretty awful.
Psychology 3440: Personality Theory
This is bound to be pretty amazing.
So in the end, I deserve it, right? Right.
I'm almost an official physicist!!! Do you know what this means? YOU will know a physicist. Yep, you!
Thank you all!
Love,
Jason
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Depression, Anxiety, Love...and Other Drugs
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| *tap*tap*tap* |
I can't write.
Why?
Well, the title pretty much explains it all. It's also not vague in any way.
Okay, maybe it's a little vague considering I kind of copied a movie title a little tiny bit.
I have depression and anxiety. Both are likely inherited (thanks, parents). I have always been a rather anxious person. I figure a large portion of my anxiety was actually learned and conditioned considering I grew up "different" and Mormon. To say the least, that calls for a lot of nervous times.
Of course I have also been depressed at times...even suicidal. But this time it's different.
 |
| Miserable Emptiness |
There's no foundation to the sadness. I feel an emptiness I believe could never be reconciled. A void that could absolutely never be filled. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to move. I don't want to talk. I don't want to wake up. I don't want to sleep. If I sleep, I have to eventually wake up and...and...do something. I don't want to see my friends. I don't want to see my boyfriend. I don't want to see my family. It makes me sick.
I want to quit school. I want to quit my job...s. I want to quit. I don't necessarily want to die, but I want to hurt myself so I can prove to you all how sick I am. So I can prove to you how much I need to quit school...to quit my jobs...s.
I want to run away. Running away will fix everything. It will fix nothing.
I'm in love. It's weird to be in love for the first time and also be extremely depressed. And then to be taking an antidepressant that increases your anxiety five-fold. I'm in love. Why now? What bizarre timing.
I want to run away...with him. That will fix everything. It will fix nothing.
I can't write.
I'm afraid to write.
I'm afraid to tell you what is going on with me.
I'm again afraid of being judged and having even more stereotypes hurled at me.
I want to run away. I'll run until the pills, pills, and more pills kick in and fix everything. They'll fix nothing.
They won't fix me.
They won't fix my family.
They won't fix the business.
They won't fix my boyfriend.
They won't fix my relationship with him either.
I guess I have to participate too.
I want to run away. I want to hide until I have the energy to help the pills.
They're so demanding of me.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Decisive Moment (Fulton Street)
Henri Cartier-Bresson's notion of the "decisive moment" in photography was inspired by words from Cardinal de Retz. Retz's original words are, "Il n'y a rien dans ce monde qui n'ait un moment decisif." Translated, "There is nothing in this world that does not have a decisive moment."
Here are some of my favorite moments decisively captured by some brilliant photographers:
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| by Henri Cartier-Bresson |
The presence of people tends to create a "decisive moment" photograph. How boring would this picture be without the person blurring by on their bicycle?!
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| Behind the Gare St. Lazare by Henri Cartier-Bresson |
I'm not sure what is happening here, nor am I sure how deep this water is, but the precision of capturing this moment just before the man's heel hits the surface of the water is outstanding - not to mention his use of an extremely imprecise camera compared to today's cameras. This is a perfect example of a "decisive moment."
Girl in Fulton Street
by Walker Evans
Which "version" do you prefer?
I prefer the image on the right; I think it is more decisive. I feel like it is taken moments after the image on the left, just after the two men in the foreground stepped out of the shot and the woman just slightly turns her gaze.
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| by Brassaï |
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| by Brassaï |
I just love these two photos by Brassaï. They're not traditional "decisive moment" photos because there is at least one subject in each of them staring right at the camera's lens - right at us. He was obviously not taking these flash photographs in secret at 2am in dark at somewhat shady bars around Paris. The subjects seem like direct participants in the capturing of these, or should I say their, moments. Oh, and the 'kiss curls'...can't beat that. Those will be back in style in no time.
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| Woman on the Street with Her Eyes Closed by Diane Arbus |
Blinks don't last very long. People also don't walk down the street with their eyes closed very often. Was this taken during a blink? How long did this blink last? Was the woman standing with here eyes closed, taking in a deep breath of fresh air, before opening them again and continuing her stroll down the street?
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| Loyalist militiaman at the moment of death, Cerro Muriano, September 5, 1936 by Robert Capa |
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| World's Fair, New York by Garry Winogrand |
You must click this picture and see it in its larger form. Each individual person on this bench has a story, and it's really fun to make up their stories!
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| Untitled by Garry Winogrand |
I will never admit I know what is going on in this photograph, but it is definitely carrying the essence of "decisive moment."
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| Los Angeles, California by Garry Winogrand |
|
| Marilyn Monroe by Richard Avedon |
Surprise. I bet you saw this coming. I don't think I need to say more about this spectacular portrait than I already have. ;-) My FAVORITE decisive moment.
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| Meudon by André Kertész |
The photograph on the far right is the one truly titled Meudon. I wasn't a huge fan of this picture when I first saw it, but I became a fan when I saw this sequence of shots. Meudon is the perfect example of a decisive moment.
I will end the photographs with this:
At first glance, this looks like a simple portrait - not a decisive moment. But, according to my History of Photography professor, during this photoshoot, both Greta and Edward were getting a little bit frustrated. Greta leaned on the backside of a chair with a "my hair is driving me crazy!" gesture pulling back her hair and resting her elbows on the back of the chair. *snap* Decisive moment. Beautiful.
I will end the photographs with this:
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| Greta Garbo by Edward Steichen |
Some of Life's Decisive Moments:
Saying "I love you" for the first time...and waiting for him to say something (anything!) back.
Just some personal experience speaking here.
What's wrong?"
If you're asked this, you're not hiding it very well. Is it worth unloading it all?
Is it worth burdening this person with what is "wrong"?
Do they actually care? Will they understand?
Will they judge? Will they offer unsolicited advice?
Is it worth burdening this person with what is "wrong"?
Do they actually care? Will they understand?
Will they judge? Will they offer unsolicited advice?
Running a red light...
a yellow light...
a purple light.
Crash. Bang. 911.
Let's catch the later movie; we're not going to make it in time.
Stepping into a street before the beeps for the blind.
It's stranger than fiction.
"Deciding to write a cute boy on Facebook." - RTH
Yes, I meet people online.
Top of a step ladder.
Tippie toes...bad idea.
Entering an elevator.
Will you make it?
Hitting "Send," Clicking "Publish," Pressing "Share," and "Tweet."
Social media is not, and will not, be the death of me. It only brings life.
It brings it in so many different ways and gives me so many verb options
for getting it all out there for you to read.
"Do you want to be boyfriends?" - JLH
Will you marry me?
"Do you?" *sigh* "Yes..."
Will you marry me?
...
Thursday, May 12, 2011
MONO Lessons (Part XVIII: 366 - 382)
Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons
366. The more I think about it, the more I want nothing to do with anything Mormon.
367. I need somebody to type my autobiography while I just blab away about my bizarre and somewhat heartbreaking past.
368. I don’t believe in “love at first sight.” However, I’m a strong believer in “like at first sight” and an even stronger believer in “lust at first sight.”
369. I have some unresolved issues with him.
370. She can hold out for a whole month!
371. I’m acting like a teenager and I’m fine with it.
372. Daiquiri Ice is DAIRY FREE!
373. Physics is more phun when I can phocus on it.
374. If I need a new kidney, YOU are waking up in an ice bath. Just sayin’…
375. I'm pretty rational about flying off the handle. – AEW
376. When I’m annoyed, I can’t hide it.
377. Don’t have the ice cream. Just don’t.
378. The best part about having a boyfriend is he goes to every freaking concert with me. ☺
379. When finally confronted with a question you’ve been waiting to be asked for years, it can catch you so off guard that you freeze up and avoid answering it the way you’ve rehearsed a million times in your head.
380. 1982 Tron = AWFUL! Seriously. Did Disney really release that to the general public?
381. I have never found a human being more repugnant, cowardly, and disgraceful than those two and I haven’t even met them.
382. Somebody dislikes Halloween more than I. And that’s saying something.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
MONO Lessons (Part XVII: 343 - 365)
Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons
343. Surprisingly, Lagoon is actually more fun picnic-style.
344. I miss her.
345. Even when I thought it couldn’t be done, they hurt me even more than they already had.
346. This must be what “I think I’m falling in love” feels like.
347. My past feels like someone else’s life.
348. Nutrition in this country is deplorable.
349. The Food Pyramid changed since I was in elementary school and nobody told me.
350. Another thing nobody ever told me: You’re supposed to poop at least once a day! This makes me unbelievably angry. Why did nobody ever tell me this?!
351. Life is better when you’re regular.
352. When you’ve got momentum, ride it. Ride it hard.
353. Photoshop CS2 is very…manual. It’s like driving a stick shift. I’ve never driven a stick shift, but I assume they are similar to Photoshop CS2…only completely different.
354. Wendover is like the cabin…only completely different.
355. Lagoon + Cabin + Swollen Glands + School Starting = Kidney Stone + 10(PAIN)
356. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between someone giving you a look of disgust and checking you out.
357. Low potassium increases one’s risk of kidney stones. Why the HELL did nobody mention this to me? I read this in my nutrition 1020 book. 1020. You know what 1020 means? Easy. What is wrong with our healthcare system?!?
358. Hard decisions are hard.
359. When the momentum is against you, sometimes you can’t keep fighting it any more.
360. I wear my emotions on my sleeve…and my face.
361. I wouldn't do it again, but I would NEVER take it back.
362. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life. It’s overwhelming and a bit frightening.
363. A W is better than not passing due to exhaustion.
364. Every time I read my nutrition book, I become more furious towards society and healthcare.
365. I’m not the only gurgler.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
To all the (difficult) parents of gay children:
It's not a phase.
It won't change.
It can't change.
Do you honestly think your child would choose to be this way?
Why would you want your child to change?
Why do you want your child to change?
Why can't you love them the way they are?
It's not like you didn't have a suspicion...
It's not your "fault."
It's not their "fault."
You played enough catch with him.
You had enough tea parties with her.
He had enough interaction with you, dad.
And mom, you weren't "overbearing."
How dare you hit him?
How dare you slap her?
How dare you kick him out of your house?
How dare you call her those names?
How dare you disown your child?
Maybe you don't deserve to have your own child as part of your life anyway.
Don't you get it?
Your religion can't "save" him.
Your counselor can't "fix" her.
What is there to save?
What is there to fix?
Remember that thing called unconditional love?
Use it.
He confided in you because he trusts you.
She told you because she wants, no, needs your support.
What makes him happy?
What gives her joy?
Support that.
The rest will fall into place.
You don't hold the answer.
Neither do they.
Just hop on for the ride.
Take it day by day.
Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.
It won't change.
It can't change.
Do you honestly think your child would choose to be this way?
Why would you want your child to change?
Why do you want your child to change?
Why can't you love them the way they are?
It's not like you didn't have a suspicion...
It's not your "fault."
It's not their "fault."
You played enough catch with him.
You had enough tea parties with her.
He had enough interaction with you, dad.
And mom, you weren't "overbearing."
How dare you hit him?
How dare you slap her?
How dare you kick him out of your house?
How dare you call her those names?
How dare you disown your child?
Maybe you don't deserve to have your own child as part of your life anyway.
Don't you get it?
Your religion can't "save" him.
Your counselor can't "fix" her.
What is there to save?
What is there to fix?
Remember that thing called unconditional love?
Use it.
He confided in you because he trusts you.
She told you because she wants, no, needs your support.
What makes him happy?
What gives her joy?
Support that.
The rest will fall into place.
You don't hold the answer.
Neither do they.
Just hop on for the ride.
Take it day by day.
Jason
Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.
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