Thank U

On a slightly less serious note, but still just as profound as my previous blog, here are some more college "Thank U"'s:

Neti Pot

Thank U, Matt, for talking to me about gross neti pot and other sinus cleaning things.  And for being my first kiss.  Yep, I publicly admitted it.

Thank U, Spencer, for reminding me how fun (and insanely weird and confusing) it is to be young.

Thank U, LeAnn, for being my big sister.

LeAnn Rimes

Thank U, Rachel, for being my gluten-free rock.

Thank U, Kelly, for brightening my Noodle-filled dinners.

THE Judy McLane & The Brandon Suisse
at the stage door of Mamma Mia!

Thank U, Kelsey, for encouraging me to ride the shuttle...YOUR shuttle.  Also, for the many blonde moments you give my life.

Thank U, Brandon, for being my own personal theatre encyclopedia.
Thank U, Judy, for bringing me theatre that makes me feel.

Thank U, Rachael, for being somebody I know on the radio and for sometimes telling me the news when I wake up.

Thank U, Jesse, for always playing every "With Friends" game with me...even though you always win.  I hope I at least give you a good challenge every now and then!

"You Lost!"
I see this a lot with him...

Imogen Heap

Thank U, Dylan, for incessantly torturing me with your charming good looks and personality.  You nerd!

Thank U, Imogen, for numbing the pain, lessening the anxiety, and inspiring awe.

Thank U, Dan, for showing me miracles can happen.  ;-)



Thank U, Max, for being a crazy funny bisexual hipster...whatever that is...

Thank U, Brendan, for being okay with me accidentally stalking you in the Union for a couple of weeks before I even knew you.

Thank U, Melissa, for marrying a straight man.  ;-)  Oh, and for every single thing you taught me.

Thank U, Sam, for singing.  Please don't stop.  I heart you.

"Angel" by Vinyl Tapestries (aka, Sam)

Thank U, Davey Wavey and Haley Star, for adding some much-needed humor (and abdominal muscles) to my life.

Thank U, Medium, FlashForward, Glee, Desperate Housewives, Fringe, The Amazing Race, The Middle, Modern Family, Parks and Recreation, The Office, The Sing Off, New Girl, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Happy Endings and Seinfeld, for making my life seem so boring, yet so much LESS dramatic than I tend to think it is.

Thank U, Tron: Legacy, Sucker Punch, Midnight in Paris, The Help, Inception, Shutter Island, Slumdog Millionaire, Killers, and Zombieland, for the escape and stimulation.

Thank U, sexuality.

Thank U, rapture.
Thank U, music.
Thank U, UTemps.
Thank U, PTC.
Thank U, "ah-ha!" moments.
Thank U, mono.
Thank U, Westminster, CO.
Thank U, Apple.
Thank U, iPhone.
Thank U, Cymbalta.
Thank U, Disneyland.
Thank U, Proposition 8.
Thank U, Packer.
Thank U, Cupid.
Thank U, pride.
Thank U, gluten.


Thank U.

MONO Lessons (Part XVI: 321 - 342)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

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321. I like him.  I like him a lot.

322. I haven’t had the opportunity to be just friends with someone before dating them.  The transition is so pleasant and non-nerve-racking.  Natural, if you will.

323. I suddenly like the song “Head Over Feet” by Alanis Morissette…hmmm…

324. It’s even weirder to have completed Psychology of Love a couple of months ago and now beginning an actual new relationship.  Talk about textbook…

325. I CAN MAKE GLUTEN-FREE, DAIRY-FREE, & EGG-FREE OATMEAL RAISIN COOKIES!!!  Epic day.  07/11/10.

326. That woman lives her life through her pain-body.  How sad.

327. Minds can change extremely fast.

328. I have identified five collective pain-bodies in which I have a stake:

a. The American Gay (LGBTQ+) Pain-Body

b. The Mormon (LDS) Pain-Body

c. The Gay Mormon Pain-Body

d. The Food Allergy Pain-Body

e. The Gluten-Intolerant/Celiac Pain-Body

329. I find hidden Mickey’s in my everyday life.

330. I’m capable of sending and receiving an “It’s me” voicemail.

331. The past can truly be haunting.

332. “D-BOX” isn’t dirty, it’s just a vibratey seat!

333. When I like a movie enough, I can see it 5 times in 15 days.  Inception rocks.

334. Monday, August 30, 2010:  Kidney stone.  Worst.  Pain.  EVER.

335. Guess what?  Potassium, still only inching it’s way up.  I have far more blood tests than I would prefer.

336. If they changed their mind and “accepted” me, I don’t think I would go back.  The damage is done.

337. Clubbing is much more tolerable with a significant other.

338. Blogging is like therapy.

339. Protests and rallies are like therapy.

340. Wendover is so sleazy it’s spectacular.

341. Gambling is kinda stupid…

342. Saying “my boyfriend” makes me all giddy.  *sigh*

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MONO Lessons (Part XV: 300 - 320)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

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300. Some places are just not worth spending the time, energy, and money to eat (particularly gluten-free) at.  I apologize for ending that sentence with a preposition.

301. It’s hard enough for me without the perpetual snide comments.

302. Mood changes can be sudden and unannounced with an obviously noticeable shift as well as sudden and announced with no detectable actual change.

303. Flash drives can never be solely trusted.

304. I feel extremely gratified when my re-petition is approved and I got everything I wanted in the first place.

305. Pride will forever be a gluten-free food that I will be swallowing regularly.

306. I can even survive 8+ vials of blood being taken from my arm!

307. It’s really weird knowing more than your own doctor…you know…the one who knows everything.

308. Back on May 3, 2010, I realized I was in limerence with her.  That’s what happened!  You can be in limerence with the “wrong” gender.  Now I finally have a name for it!

309. These foods, oddly, have gluten in them:

a. Soy Sauce

b. Teriyaki Sauce

c. Blue Cheese

d. Marinades and Seasonings

e. Couscous – it’s actually a pasta

f. Malt (malt anything comes from barley)

g. Caramel Flavor

h. Caramel Color (but usually not any more)

i. Roasted/Glazed/Candied Nuts

j. Vitamins

k. Gravy

l. Oats…kind of…but not really.  They are all too often contaminated with gluten, but don’t possess any of their own gluten.  This is always a wonderful conversation starter.  (See Lesson 274)

m. Tofu.  Wha?!  I know, right?  Stupid wheat fillers.  (As a side note, Kofu is 99.999% pure gluten.  Note to self: Definitely avoid Kofu.)

n. Licorice

o. Imitation seafood, like imitation crab

310. These foods are shockingly gluten-free

a. Buckwheat

b. Glutinous rice

c. Corn gluten

d. Wheat grass

e. Fruity Pebbles – For some odd reason I assumed they were gluteny…

f. Rumbi’s chicken.  I swear to you, everyone else’s chicken is marinated in gluten!

311. My potassium STILL isn’t as high as I was hoping.  What the crap?!?  No wonder my heart still has episodes.

312. It’s nice to be on the same page this time around.  Thanks for giving me a break this time around, universe.

313. “Don’t look for Mr. Right, be Mr. Right and the rest will fall into place.” – MB

314. As usual, summer brings people out of the woodwork.

315. Scalp Oil + Shower Cap + Big Gun Acne Spot Treatment + Extra Lotion Around Lips = Jason Looks Like a Freaking Monster at Bedtime

316. I now have empathy for people with scalp issues ranging from mild dandruff to full-fledged scalp psoriasis.

317. Writing and mailing letters to people is really rather fun.

318. Sometimes I go WAY too long without writing mono lessons.  They then get backed up (constipated, if you will) in my brain and then finally spill out all over the place.

319. A lot can change in a year.  Namely feelings.  Stupid fickle feelings.

320. Oddly, confusion is sometimes rather peaceful.  Wha?

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The Year of Immunotherapy?

Please let this year be better.  I'm so tired.  I haven't felt well since May of 2008 and I'm tired of trying.  But apparently not tired enough to quit.

Westminster, Colorado.
A "cold" 
Turns into a "sinus infection."
Bactrim, Ceftin, Azithromycin, Augmenton.
Hives.
Epic hives.
Again
And again.
Turns out it was mono.
Quite the misdiagnosis
Duh.
School starts in 4 days.
Semester from hell.
ER visit.
Finally confronting my heart arrhythmia.
Miracle semester.
Not feeling better;
In fact, feeling worse.
Quit my job of 2.5 years.
Goodbye to the best coworkers on earth.
Time to focus on health and school.
Turns out I'm gluten intolerant.
Diet changes.
Diet changes.
Diet changes.
Diet changes.
Diet changes.
Feeling slightly better.
Disneyland.
Feeling quite a bit better.
Lagoon.
Cabin.
Something's not right.
School starts.
Worst pain ever.
ER visit.
Kidney stone.
Nausea, pain, lortab, and flomax.
And lortab...did I mention the lortab?
School...
Work...
W...
Feels like mono again
Only it isn't.
What a relief!
Wait, then what is it?
I'm allergic to this valley.
Is immunotherapy my next solution?
 

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MONO Lessons (Part XIV: 271- 299)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

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271. I think someone has ADD…

272. Almond Breeze is my favorite milk replacement.  Mmmm

273. They make butters other than peanut butter.

274. Oats are a major topic of conversation.  Especially among Celiacs.

275. Immune systems are actually supposed to stop a cold from taking over your body.  Mine did that for the first time in years!  Hooray!

276. The Stanford Prison Experiment.  Ryan and I rocked this thing.

277. Gluten antibodies attack and chop down the villi in my small intestines.  Lactase, the enzyme that breaks down lactose, is created in the tip of the villi.  Hence, I will seem “lactose intolerant” until my villi grow back.

278. “Wheat-free” does NOT infer “gluten-free.”

279. Blogging is like a disease.  A rather contagious disease.

280. I’m a gatekeeper.

281. I live my life as an oxymoron.  I love oxymorons and paradoxes.

282. Mayonnaise is evil.  Of the devil, if you will.

283. I am eternally grateful for my past.  Without it, I wouldn’t be where I am now.

284. I am infinitely relieved to have made it through the reconciliation brawl physically alive, psychologically intact, mentally resilient, and spiritually affirmed.

285. “He’s not cute enough to be gay!” – SH.  I then burst out laughing.

286. Late at night, even regular humans can suddenly become cute, cuddly zombies.

287. I attached to UTemps like it was a person…

288. These tremendously complex bodies are bound to have a few minor errors.

289. Slumdog Millionaire is simply unbelievable and moves me in a way no movie ever has.

290. Really.  It’s not me!  It’s everybody else…. Trust me.

291. It’s not fair.  And that will continue to resonate in my mind.  It’s simply not fair.

292. Outback is a GF Mecca.  P.F. Chang's can be Mecca #2.

293. I think about them every single day…

294. “When in doubt, leave it out.” – Danna Korn from Living Gluten-Free for Dummies

295. Gluten could be the answer behind everything.

296. Some servers can really surprise me with their gluten-free skill and memory.  Really, though, he should have written it all down…I’m complicated.

297. I will meet my soul mate at Whole Foods.  I’m convinced.  See “Aaron the Whole Foods Boy."

298. Windows 7 doesn’t like power outages.

299. That said, F6 is the secret, magical, earth-saving button.

Jason

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

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Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free, & Egg-Free Oatmeal Raisin Cookies

On the morning of Sunday, July 11th, my friend sends me a text saying, "I feel like having a cookie."  At that moment, I had the most immense yearning for a cookie that I've ever had.  For those of you who don't know me too well, I'm really just not a sweets fan.  Yes, they're very tasty, but I am content without them.  What I'm saying is, it is odd to have a craving like this consume me so suddenly.

So the hunt began.  After looking through about a dozen cookbooks and searching the internet, I settled on a gluten-free, dairy-free, egg-free oatmeal raisin cookie recipe from Sophie-Safe Cooking by Emily Hendrix.

Here's the recipe:

1/2 cup (1 stick)   margarine or shortening (I used Earth Balance buttery spread)

1 cup                    brown sugar

1/2 cup                white sugar

1 tsp.                   vanilla

1/3 cup                rice milk (I used Almond Breeze)

2 1/2 cups            GF oat flour

1 tsp.                   cinnamon

1/2 tsp.                baking soda

1/4 tsp.                salt

2 cups                  GF old-fashioned rolled oats

1 cup                    raisins

With a mixer, mix the Earth Balance and sugars.  Add vanilla and Almond Breeze and mix again.  Add GF oat flour, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt and mix well.

Finally, stir in the GF old-fashioned oats and raisins.  Drop the dough on cookie sheets.

The author suggests making rounded tablespoon-sized cookies and baking at 350°F for 12 minutes making about 4 dozen cookies.  That's nice, but I made my cookies about 3x larger and baked them for about 18 minutes making 18 large cookies instead of 48 itty bitty ones.

Now some notes:

1. Make sure you purchase gluten-free oats!  Bob's Red Mill makes some amazing gluten-free oats that I highly recommend.
2. Unfortunately, Bob doesn't make gluten-free oat flour.  He does make gluteny oat flour, so don't purchase that by mistake.  Instead, make your own gluten-free oat flour with your gluten-free oats in a blender or an Ultimate Chopper.
3. Earth Balance is a gluten-free, dairy-free (and egg-free) buttery spread.

Here is my experience.  First, I don't cook.  That said, I definitely don't bake.  So if I can do this, so can you.

The packaged ingredients.  Yes, I had to actually buy sugars because we got rid of all of our sugar.

Next, in our Ultimate Chopper:

Gluten-Free Oats turn into Gluten-Free Oat Flour!

Oatmeal raisin cookies made with oat flour.  Doesn't that just make sense?

The measured ingredients.  Yes, those are shot glasses...from IKEA!

Now the weirdest thing happened.  About 1 minute after adding the dry ingredients to the mix, I started crying.  It just suddenly happened.  They were tears of pure joy!  I've missed oatmeal raisin cookies so much and now I get to have them again!

Here is the dough after adding the whole oats and raisins:

Yum!

 On the cookie sheet. 

Cookie sheet close-up.

All baked!

The finished product!
 

They taste just like "normal" cookies!  I'm so happy.  For you Despicable Me fans out there, they're so yummy I'm gonna die!!!

Jason 

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