Sunday, November 9, 2014
MONO Lessons (Part XXII: 440-463)
Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons
440. Spring finals are the absolute worst.
441. I don’t understand the whole superhero comic book thing. Especially Thor. Thor is a Nordic god…not a comic book character…
442. Chris Evans must be an actual superhero since he has played The Human Torch and will be playing Captain America…the hero with the lamest name ever.
443. The Avengers are: The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man (whatever that is), Thor, and Captain America.
444. Need to Know on PBS is simply outstanding journalism. I highly recommend it. Oh, and donate! ;-)
445. Allegra is a non-drowsy lifesaver. Now also available in generic form from your local grocery store knock-off brand! Yay!
446. Some things never change.
447. Facebook ads…holy crap.
448. Apparently, people have pornographic slides. Yes, I said slides.
449. Divorce isn’t a bad thing. It just gets a bad rap.
450. I can easily use a video game analogy to explain my ideas correlating physics, spirituality, and a “higher power.”
451. RENT four times can be rather emotional; especially during a highly emotional time in your personal life.
452. Lesson #157 stated “I’m not ‘RENT’ gay.” Correction, I am “RENT” gay.
453. Jagged Little Pill would make a great musical.
454. The Matrix is why I freed my mind.
455. Kaboom. That is all.
456. I prefer having the world end at the end of apocalyptic-like movies. Especially if aliens are involved.
457. Abercrombie & Fitch models feel nice.
458. I refuse to watch Criminal Minds because I can’t take Greg, yes, from Dharma & Greg, seriously. And he’s missing Dharma…
459. Sexuality, gender, and sex are all amazing things and deserve more conversational attention. Taboo is destroyed by conversation.
460. Depression and anxiety are rampant.
461. Depression and anxiety are rampant among gays.
462. Judy McLane is a sweetheart.
463. Being a gay teenager still sucks, unfortunately. But at least it’s slightly less dangerous…
441. I don’t understand the whole superhero comic book thing. Especially Thor. Thor is a Nordic god…not a comic book character…
442. Chris Evans must be an actual superhero since he has played The Human Torch and will be playing Captain America…the hero with the lamest name ever.
443. The Avengers are: The Incredible Hulk, Iron Man (whatever that is), Thor, and Captain America.
444. Need to Know on PBS is simply outstanding journalism. I highly recommend it. Oh, and donate! ;-)
445. Allegra is a non-drowsy lifesaver. Now also available in generic form from your local grocery store knock-off brand! Yay!
446. Some things never change.
447. Facebook ads…holy crap.
448. Apparently, people have pornographic slides. Yes, I said slides.
449. Divorce isn’t a bad thing. It just gets a bad rap.
450. I can easily use a video game analogy to explain my ideas correlating physics, spirituality, and a “higher power.”
451. RENT four times can be rather emotional; especially during a highly emotional time in your personal life.
452. Lesson #157 stated “I’m not ‘RENT’ gay.” Correction, I am “RENT” gay.
453. Jagged Little Pill would make a great musical.
454. The Matrix is why I freed my mind.
455. Kaboom. That is all.
456. I prefer having the world end at the end of apocalyptic-like movies. Especially if aliens are involved.
457. Abercrombie & Fitch models feel nice.
458. I refuse to watch Criminal Minds because I can’t take Greg, yes, from Dharma & Greg, seriously. And he’s missing Dharma…
459. Sexuality, gender, and sex are all amazing things and deserve more conversational attention. Taboo is destroyed by conversation.
460. Depression and anxiety are rampant.
461. Depression and anxiety are rampant among gays.
462. Judy McLane is a sweetheart.
463. Being a gay teenager still sucks, unfortunately. But at least it’s slightly less dangerous…
Sunday, October 28, 2012
How do you do this to me?
How do you do this to me?
How can I hate your hurtful heart,
But sigh for your smell on my sheets?
How can I loath your lousy lies,
But crave your counterfeit concurrence?
How can I despise your desperate devotion,
But pine for your perpetual and palpable presence?
How do you do this to me?
Since when did I hand you my reins?
This is my life to live,
Not yours to subliminally destroy.
Since when did my brain
Allow thoughts of you to drain
My will, my power to let go?
How do you do this to me?
Why do I do this to me?
Why do I let this good-for-nothin' guilt
Cloud my already cockeyed comprehension?
Why do I fantasize the future we were facing,
Instead of soul-searching and stabilizing my self?
Why do I desire a darling,
But have a forever fleeting focus?
Why do I do this to me?
Since when did I lose control of my reins?
This is my life to live,
Not yours to subliminally control.
Since when did my brain
Allow thoughts of you to drain
My will, my power to let go?
How do you do this to me?
How do I forget your love?
How do I leave behind my own?
I'll never forget our years together.
The memories have pierced my soul.
But, it's over.
I miss you and will always love you.
How do you do this to me?
Since when did I hand you my reins?
This is my life to live,
Not yours to subliminally control.
Since when did my brain
Allow thoughts of you to drain
My will, my power to let go?
How do you do this to me?
How do you do this to me?
How do you do this to me?
Goodbye.
How can I hate your hurtful heart,
But sigh for your smell on my sheets?
How can I loath your lousy lies,
But crave your counterfeit concurrence?
How can I despise your desperate devotion,
But pine for your perpetual and palpable presence?
How do you do this to me?
Since when did I hand you my reins?
This is my life to live,
Not yours to subliminally destroy.
Since when did my brain
Allow thoughts of you to drain
My will, my power to let go?
How do you do this to me?
Why do I do this to me?
Why do I let this good-for-nothin' guilt
Cloud my already cockeyed comprehension?
Why do I fantasize the future we were facing,
Instead of soul-searching and stabilizing my self?
Why do I desire a darling,
But have a forever fleeting focus?
Why do I do this to me?
Since when did I lose control of my reins?
This is my life to live,
Not yours to subliminally control.
Since when did my brain
Allow thoughts of you to drain
My will, my power to let go?
How do you do this to me?
How do I forget your love?
How do I leave behind my own?
I'll never forget our years together.
The memories have pierced my soul.
But, it's over.
I miss you and will always love you.
How do you do this to me?
Since when did I hand you my reins?
This is my life to live,
Not yours to subliminally control.
Since when did my brain
Allow thoughts of you to drain
My will, my power to let go?
How do you do this to me?
How do you do this to me?
How do you do this to me?
Goodbye.
Thursday, October 25, 2012
MONO Lessons (Part XXI: 420 - 439)
Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons
420. I don’t know what to do with my last name if/when I get married. But I do know “Hoggan” won’t be leaving. It’s far too awesome.
421. I want an equation, variable, or unit named after me. “Then we take the Hoggan Cross Section…” “Find the Hoggan wavelength of…” “So after the algebra, we are left with 7 Hoggans…” Yes.
422. Opera is not my thing.
423. “Little Women” is just a boring story. Jo, grow up.
424. I should probably become a model. It may be my true calling in life.
425. Depressed and anxious people shouldn’t have to split their depression and anxiety pills. We need more size variety!
426. Seeing a car flip over in front of you due to another car running a red light causes intersection anxiety.
427. I’m in love. He drives me insane, but I love him. I’m in love.
428. I can go months without talking to someone and still know when they’re pulling an April Fools joke.
429. Gay marriage would be legal if it weren’t illegal. Think about it. That thought isn’t as stupid as it sounds.
430. Fortune cookies are disgusting.
431. Domes of fudge are splendid.
432. Hemorrhoids suck.
433. Sucker Punch…possibly too awesome?
434. Buckwheat is nasty. Even in maple-glazed cold cereal form.
435. I will never need to purchase an obnoxiously large, loud, and window-tinted truck to make up for any lack of “manhood,” thank you.
436. I don’t drink enough water.
437. I’m a meat-eating vegan. A carnivorous vegan, if you will. …Aaaaaand you will.
438. When I get an intense blog idea, move out of the way.
439. I like butt chins.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Mirror Mirror
"Trust is like a mirror. You can fix it if it's broke, but you can still see the crack in that mother f***ing reflection." - SMT
How do you repair a mirror smashed into 64 billion pieces?
I guess the answer is: carefully...and with gloves so you don't cut yourself.
I forgot the gloves in my haste.
Once the mirror smashed, my first reaction was to hurry and put it back together as to see clearly again as soon as possible. But I cut up my hands and bled all over the poorly reconfigured puzzle. I couldn't see any clearer.
Crap. Now I have to re-break it if there's any hope of seeing clearly.
*smash*crash*crunch*
I can't do this again. I quit.
Trust forever betrayed.
Forgiveness never in sight.
Forever bandaging the wounds.
Never healing.
Always hurting.
Always bleeding.
What a mess.
How do you repair a mirror smashed into 64 billion pieces?
I guess the answer is: carefully...and with gloves so you don't cut yourself.
I forgot the gloves in my haste.
Once the mirror smashed, my first reaction was to hurry and put it back together as to see clearly again as soon as possible. But I cut up my hands and bled all over the poorly reconfigured puzzle. I couldn't see any clearer.
Crap. Now I have to re-break it if there's any hope of seeing clearly.
*smash*crash*crunch*
I can't do this again. I quit.
Trust forever betrayed.
Forgiveness never in sight.
Forever bandaging the wounds.
Never healing.
Always hurting.
Always bleeding.
What a mess.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Don't Be So Hard
"Don't be so hard on yourself."
It's not attractive.
It's not productive.
Your darkest bruises are from your own mind.
Do the blotches and scars help you heal?
Do they help you forget?
How about forgive?
Move on?
Or do they help you remember to punish yourself every second of every day?
To look in the mirror with pure hatred and disgust?
To regret what you did?
What you said?
What you didn't do?
What you didn't say?
Do they help you remember what you lost?
Do they help you remember how much you fucked up?
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Do the track marks lead you to any happiness?
Or only to more sorrow and depression?
Did you ever think you might enjoy the pain and drama more than peace and calm? What an unpleasant, painful way to live.
Lighten up. Live a little. Step out of your comfort corner.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
It's not attractive.
It's not productive.
Your darkest bruises are from your own mind.
Do the blotches and scars help you heal?
Do they help you forget?
How about forgive?
Move on?
Or do they help you remember to punish yourself every second of every day?
To look in the mirror with pure hatred and disgust?
To regret what you did?
What you said?
What you didn't do?
What you didn't say?
Do they help you remember what you lost?
Do they help you remember how much you fucked up?
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Do the track marks lead you to any happiness?
Or only to more sorrow and depression?
Did you ever think you might enjoy the pain and drama more than peace and calm? What an unpleasant, painful way to live.
Lighten up. Live a little. Step out of your comfort corner.
Don't be so hard on yourself.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Daemon of The Past
Movies portray daemons in so many ways - some crawl, some swoop like ghosts, and some lurk faceless in the shadows. But the worst daemon of them all is The Past - unseen and non palpable.
The Past terrorizes the mind like the ghosts of asylum patients haunt the halls of their former home.
The Past is a liar. It fools you into believing a hologram. It's fake. It's a façade hiding your mind's eye from reality and The Truth.
The Past makes you angry and bitter. It makes you blame everyone...everything...except yourself.
The Past asserts you had no control. It was his fault. It was her fault. If only he didn't do that...if only she didn't say that...then things would be better for ME.
The Past is denial.
But at the same time, The Past is guilt and self-loathing. The Past is worthlessness and hopelessness. The Past digs a pit of shame and throws you in, spiraling toward the invisible bottom.
The Past enjoys being construed, twisted, and morphed into whatever causes you the most possible pain.
The Past then wants you to awaken its brother daemons in the people around you. Spread the pain and suffering!
The Past is a kidney stone of the mind. The pain is excruciating. It can even feel like you may die.
The Past makes you sadder than you ever thought possible. It makes your tear ducts shrivel. It makes your sleep scarce and strenuous.
The Past wants to break free and become reality. It will convince you its freedom will be your solace, when in fact, it is your demise.
The Past breaks free with death - your death. The escape from its torture lies in your own hands. You must die to alleviate the depression, pain, and tormenting anxiety The Past inflicts.
Of course this isn't The Truth. The Past destroys hope, butchers faith, and mocks The Truth.
But The Truth knows self eradication will only cause more pain - for your soul and those you leave behind.
The Truth may not be pretty, but it's not a big phony like The Past.
The Truth is now.
The Truth is here.
The Truth doesn't dabble with The Past.
The Truth doesn't fiddle with The Future.
The Truth is grace.
The Truth is the escape.
The Truth is happiness.
The Truth is Love.
The Truth is health and healing.
 |
| Photo by CodingNinja |
The Past terrorizes the mind like the ghosts of asylum patients haunt the halls of their former home.
The Past is a liar. It fools you into believing a hologram. It's fake. It's a façade hiding your mind's eye from reality and The Truth.
The Past makes you angry and bitter. It makes you blame everyone...everything...except yourself.
The Past asserts you had no control. It was his fault. It was her fault. If only he didn't do that...if only she didn't say that...then things would be better for ME.
The Past is denial.
But at the same time, The Past is guilt and self-loathing. The Past is worthlessness and hopelessness. The Past digs a pit of shame and throws you in, spiraling toward the invisible bottom.
 |
| Photo by brownspoon |
The Past then wants you to awaken its brother daemons in the people around you. Spread the pain and suffering!
The Past is a kidney stone of the mind. The pain is excruciating. It can even feel like you may die.
The Past makes you sadder than you ever thought possible. It makes your tear ducts shrivel. It makes your sleep scarce and strenuous.
 |
| Photo by F l S f a h .. ❥ |
The Past wants to break free and become reality. It will convince you its freedom will be your solace, when in fact, it is your demise.
The Past breaks free with death - your death. The escape from its torture lies in your own hands. You must die to alleviate the depression, pain, and tormenting anxiety The Past inflicts.
Of course this isn't The Truth. The Past destroys hope, butchers faith, and mocks The Truth.
But The Truth knows self eradication will only cause more pain - for your soul and those you leave behind.
 |
| Photo by lorrainemd |
The Truth is now.
The Truth is here.
The Truth doesn't dabble with The Past.
The Truth doesn't fiddle with The Future.
The Truth is grace.
The Truth is the escape.
The Truth is happiness.
The Truth is Love.
The Truth is health and healing.
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