Burdened Bench

Hobos sleep

Kids climb

Women breastfeed

Lovers cuddle

Parents watch

Cats catnap

Dogs are tethered

Birds drop

Gossip whispers

Newspaper reads

Women womanized

Men hypermasculinized

Passers-by people-watched

Hair mocked

Clothing scoffed

Jealousy onlooks

Coworkers conspire

Strangers confide

Always vacant

Until needed

What a burden for slabs of wood and cast metal to uphold.

Inspired by:

Garry Winogrand
World's Fair
New York, 1964

 

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"This Time" by Céline Dion

Are you or is someone you know being abused?

Are you or is someone you know abusing others?

Remember, abusers are not just men and the abused are not just women.

This ends now.  If you need emergency help, call 911.  If you need other assistance or advice, call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or 1.800.787.3224 (TTY).  Anonymous & Confidential Help 24/7

www.thehotline.org

---

"This Time" by Céline Dion had an effect on me the moment I first heard it.  I hope it does the same for you.

Here, Céline talks about her feelings toward this emotional song during her recording sessions.  Below is the full song followed by the lyrics.

---

"This Time" - Céline Dion

One more hour burns
So scared of his return
That I can't sleep tonight
In this hospital light

What you call a tragedy
Is just another day to me
For my heart beats with fear
As his footsteps draw near

The life I meant to lead
Won't slip away from me

'Cuz this time's the last time
I know that my eyes have seen too much
This nightmare is not fair
And I've had enough
(And I've had enough)

You break me, and as I bleed
You just say you're sorry
You call this love?
But this time your lies
Are not enough
This time...

There's nothing left of this
Your wispered words and empty threats
Rip away the seams of what I thought this would be
The last thread has come undone
To reveal what I've become
Another victim of a poison love

I've been afraid for years
But that won't keep me here

'Cuz this time's the last time
I know that my eyes have seen too much
This nightmare is not fair
And I've had enough
(And I've had enough)

You break me
To just say you're sorry
You call this love?
But this time your lies
Are not enough
This time...

And what remains a mystery
You cannot have the best of me
So I'm taking back
All you took from me

'Cuz this time's the last time
I know that my eyes have seen too much
This nightmare is not fair
And I've had enough
(And I've had enough)

You break me
To just say you're sorry
You call this love?
But this time your lies
Are not enough
This time...

---

• Emergency: Call 911

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) or 1.800.787.3224 (TTY) for Anonymous & Confidential Help 24/7.

www.thehotline.org

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This I Know

I would give my life if it would save even one person from having to go through the mental misery, emotional agony, and spiritual hell I went through to get where I am today.

This I know:

God exists.
I am one of His children.
He loves me.
He wants me to be happy.
He will help me find happiness here in this life and in the next.
I can have a personal relationship with Him.
He will answer me.
God knows I'm gay.
My spirit was "gay" before I was born into this life.
I will be "gay" in the afterlife.
It's okay.
I can have an eternal family with another man.
I can have spirit children with another man.
The Church's current stance on gays is simply incorrect.
One day more will be revealed.

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MONO Lessons (Part XVII: 343 - 365)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

---

343. Surprisingly, Lagoon is actually more fun picnic-style.

344. I miss her.

345. Even when I thought it couldn’t be done, they hurt me even more than they already had.

346. This must be what “I think I’m falling in love” feels like.

347. My past feels like someone else’s life.

348. Nutrition in this country is deplorable.

349. The Food Pyramid changed since I was in elementary school and nobody told me.

350. Another thing nobody ever told me:  You’re supposed to poop at least once a day!  This makes me unbelievably angry.  Why did nobody ever tell me this?!

351. Life is better when you’re regular.

352. When you’ve got momentum, ride it.  Ride it hard.

353. Photoshop CS2 is very…manual.  It’s like driving a stick shift.  I’ve never driven a stick shift, but I assume they are similar to Photoshop CS2…only completely different.

354. Wendover is like the cabin…only completely different.

355. Lagoon + Cabin + Swollen Glands + School Starting = Kidney Stone + 10(PAIN)

356. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between someone giving you a look of disgust and checking you out.

357. Low potassium increases one’s risk of kidney stones.  Why the HELL did nobody mention this to me?  I read this in my nutrition 1020 book.  1020.  You know what 1020 means?  Easy.  What is wrong with our healthcare system?!?

358. Hard decisions are hard.

359. When the momentum is against you, sometimes you can’t keep fighting it any more.

360. I wear my emotions on my sleeve…and my face.

361. I wouldn't do it again, but I would NEVER take it back.

362. I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life.  It’s overwhelming and a bit frightening.

363. A W is better than not passing due to exhaustion.

364. Every time I read my nutrition book, I become more furious towards society and healthcare.

365. I’m not the only gurgler.

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"Three Cheers for Five Years [Acoustic]" by Mayday Parade

I call this my first punk song...even thought it's the acoustic version of a punk song making it not really punk...and even though Mayday Parade's punkness is sometimes debatable.  Anyway, that said, "Three Cheers for Five Years" is on Punk Goes Acoustic 2, and, not being a punk fan before this, I consider it punk.  :-)

I think this song is simply breathtaking with its incredible harmonies.  I hope you've got some spare time on your hands because it's rather lengthy, but it's worth it.  If you're interested in listening to the original version, here is a LINK.  In the meantime, here is the acoustic version with lyrics provided below.

"Three Cheers for Five Years" - Mayday Parade

I swear that you don't have to go, I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow
To wash over Georgia and kill the hurt
I thought I could live in your arms and spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you (I had in you)

Too late, I'm sure, and lonely 

'Cause it's another night, another dream wasted on you
So just be here now, against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby
 

For Heaven's sake, I know you're sorry, but you wont stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying, with my heart beside me, 

In shattered pieces that, may never be replaced
And if I died right now, you'd never be the same

I thought with a month of apart
Together would find us an opening 

Moonlight would provide the spark
And that I would stumble across your key
Or break down the door to your heart
Forever could see us, not you and me
And you'd help me out of the dark
And I give my heart as an offering (as an offering)

Too late, I'm sure, and lonely
It's just another night, another dream wasted on you
So just be here now, against me
You know the words, so sing along for me baby

For Heaven's sake, I know you're sorry, but you wont stop crying
This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying, with my heart beside me, 

In shattered pieces that, may never be replaced
And if I died right now, you'd never be the same...

And I... Will always... Remember you as you are right now to me
And I... Will always... Remember you now, remember you now...
Oh...

 
So sleep alone tonight
With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight

And how does he feel? And how does he kiss?
And how does he taste while he's on your lips?

How does he feel?  How does he kiss?

 (And sleep alone tonight

With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight)

And I can't forget you
I know that you want me to want you, I want to
But I can't forget you

So when this is over, don't blow your composure, baby
I can't forget you

(And sleep alone tonight

With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight)

(And sleep alone tonight

With no one here just by your side
Sleep alone tonight)
I know you want me to want you, I want to
But I can't forget you
So when this is over don't blow your composure, baby
I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you, I want to.

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Fag.

I hate this word.
Not surprisingly, I also hate the word "faggot."
I'm actually cringing as I type these.
I'm not going to type it again.

In my world, this f word is like the n word.
...Only I don't allow other homos to use this word around/at me either.
It's not funny.

Some words have a tendency to carry as much baggage as a cargo jet.
This is one of those words.
No matter how lightheartedly it is used...
No matter how often it is used...
No matter how incorrectly it is used...
No matter who uses it...
Its intensity does not fade,
It's still derogatory,
It still hurts,
and it's still rude.

In fact, it's abusive.

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Accordion Man

I have a new banner at the top of my blog.  You may have noticed.  I'm rather proud of this picture.  I took this picture while I was in a digital photography class a couple of years ago.  It's no mystery I was taught how to use Photoshop because of this class, so I thought I would show you this picture in a "before and after" style.  "Before" is the original photograph - the digital negative.  "After" is my final cropped and edited version of the photo.  For those of you that don't know, if you click on a photo in a blog, you can see a big version of it.  I encourage this practice.  Enjoy.

The best part of this photo is the fact that I was walking, looking forward, holding my camera near the bottom of my ribcage with the lens aimed to my right side.  *click*  Got it.  Miracle.  Oh, and this guy is a redhead!

Before:

After:

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