You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Some of you may find this sarcastic and rude, some of you may find this loving and sincere.  You're all correct...it's everything, but I certainly have no intention to offend.  Sure, there is a slight "airing of grievances" feel, but it's just a jumble of my thoughts.

You find out who your friends are when they visit you regularly,
When they support you at your job by SPENDING MONEY to see your work's latest play or attraction,
When they don't complain about the price of your work's shows or admission,
When they don't ask you if they can get in for free or for a discount,
When they know your job title,
When they know what your actual job duties are (If you spend the time explaining them, that is.),
When they know your major,
When they know your minor...s,
When they come to Europe with you,
When they do all they can to go to Europe with you but just plain can't go,
When they stab you in the back,
When they leave and never come back,
When they leave without saying goodbye,
When they tell you all the things you do that drive them absolutely insane but let you do them anyway because it doesn't really matter,
When they won't tell you what's bugging them and keep it all inside until they either fade away or blow up in your face,
When they say "I love you,"
When they say "I hate you,"
When they call you a fag,
When they call you a bitch (or betch),
When they like your boyfriend so much they can hang out together without you,
When they put on a gas mask for you,
When they make a fool of themselves in front of you,
When they let you vent about your frustrations with the LDS Church and just say "I know! I'm so sorry!  It sucks!" rather than starting a fruitless debate,
When they accept a present from you,
When they fail to accept a present from you,
When they give you a present,
And when they ask you what you'd like for a present so you receive something you'd actually like to have.

Thank U

On a slightly less serious note, but still just as profound as my previous blog, here are some more college "Thank U"'s:

Neti Pot

Thank U, Matt, for talking to me about gross neti pot and other sinus cleaning things.  And for being my first kiss.  Yep, I publicly admitted it.

Thank U, Spencer, for reminding me how fun (and insanely weird and confusing) it is to be young.

Thank U, LeAnn, for being my big sister.

LeAnn Rimes

Thank U, Rachel, for being my gluten-free rock.

Thank U, Kelly, for brightening my Noodle-filled dinners.

THE Judy McLane & The Brandon Suisse
at the stage door of Mamma Mia!

Thank U, Kelsey, for encouraging me to ride the shuttle...YOUR shuttle.  Also, for the many blonde moments you give my life.

Thank U, Brandon, for being my own personal theatre encyclopedia.
Thank U, Judy, for bringing me theatre that makes me feel.

Thank U, Rachael, for being somebody I know on the radio and for sometimes telling me the news when I wake up.

Thank U, Jesse, for always playing every "With Friends" game with me...even though you always win.  I hope I at least give you a good challenge every now and then!

"You Lost!"
I see this a lot with him...

Imogen Heap

Thank U, Dylan, for incessantly torturing me with your charming good looks and personality.  You nerd!

Thank U, Imogen, for numbing the pain, lessening the anxiety, and inspiring awe.

Thank U, Dan, for showing me miracles can happen.  ;-)



Thank U, Max, for being a crazy funny bisexual hipster...whatever that is...

Thank U, Brendan, for being okay with me accidentally stalking you in the Union for a couple of weeks before I even knew you.

Thank U, Melissa, for marrying a straight man.  ;-)  Oh, and for every single thing you taught me.

Thank U, Sam, for singing.  Please don't stop.  I heart you.

"Angel" by Vinyl Tapestries (aka, Sam)

Thank U, Davey Wavey and Haley Star, for adding some much-needed humor (and abdominal muscles) to my life.

Thank U, Medium, FlashForward, Glee, Desperate Housewives, Fringe, The Amazing Race, The Middle, Modern Family, Parks and Recreation, The Office, The Sing Off, New Girl, Family Guy, The Simpsons, Happy Endings and Seinfeld, for making my life seem so boring, yet so much LESS dramatic than I tend to think it is.

Thank U, Tron: Legacy, Sucker Punch, Midnight in Paris, The Help, Inception, Shutter Island, Slumdog Millionaire, Killers, and Zombieland, for the escape and stimulation.

Thank U, sexuality.

Thank U, rapture.
Thank U, music.
Thank U, UTemps.
Thank U, PTC.
Thank U, "ah-ha!" moments.
Thank U, mono.
Thank U, Westminster, CO.
Thank U, Apple.
Thank U, iPhone.
Thank U, Cymbalta.
Thank U, Disneyland.
Thank U, Proposition 8.
Thank U, Packer.
Thank U, Cupid.
Thank U, pride.
Thank U, gluten.


Thank U.

10 Down, 1 To Go - Thank You!

I'm graduating from college in May.  On May 4, 2012, to be exact, but who's really keeping track? Then I'm leaving my job and running away to Europe for a month.  Sounds amazing and you're extremely jealous of me, right???

Anyway...

First, I want to take a moment to reflect on the past 5 years of my college life and publicly acknowledge some family, friends, and coworkers who have continually supported me and helped me survive.

Mom and Dad:  What troopers.  From my giddy freshman excitement, to my mono year and kidney stone, to the impending senioritis, thank you for always being there to hear me rant, rave, complain, scream, cry, bitch, and cry some more at all hours of the day or night.  Thank you for letting...no...encouraging me to be me.  Thank you for listening to me nerd out like I do.  Thank you for being interested in me, my school, my work, my coworkers, and my friends.

Stacie and Anita:  I couldn't have asked for more amazing coworkers.  I still feel so lucky and blessed that I had the opportunity to work with both of you.  Not many people get the chance to do what we did.  And at my young age, I am so thankful I was able to do it with you.  Thank you for being great coworkers, mentors, and most of all, my friends.  I love you both dearly!

Stacie, Me, and Anita:  The UTemps Team

Katie:  Thank you for putting up with my and Ryan's Canada jokes.  Thank you for choosing me (you know what I'm talking about...haha).  Thank you for helping to keep us in contact and organizing lunches and dinners.  Thank you for always being there to talk to and for never judging me.  You are one of the sweetest people I know and I absolutely love you!

Moi et Katie

Ryan:  Thank you for making nerdiness so sexy.  Thank you for your eye contact.  Thank you for being an amazing study buddy.  Thank you for all of the intellectual conversations about gender, sexuality, religion, and everything else both physics-y and non-physics-y.  I miss you!

Jessica:  You are absolutely the best lab partner anyone could ask for!  Thank you for always being on the same crazy wavelength as me, even though it's not actually you're choice and in reality you're just as crazy as me.  Thank you for taking Lisa's class with me - that was an amazing experience to share with you.  Thank you for being so freaking funny.  I love you!

Allie and Lindsey:  Thank you for putting up with mono me.  Thank you for the Denny's nights.  Thank you for the laughing attacks.  Thank you for Disneyland.  Thank you for the cabin, which was exactly like Disneyland, only completely different.  Thank you for being amazing friends!  Oh, and Lindsey...EUROPE!

DISNEYLAND!!!

Tate:  Thank you for returning to my life.  Thank you for always supporting me, encouraging me, and doing your absolute best to understand me.  Thank you for listening to me nerd out.  I love you so much and I can't wait to see where life takes us next!

Yes, we are usually acting or looking like dorks.

Diane:  Thank you for taking a "risk" and hiring a physics major.  Thank you for your infinite flexibility around my health and school.  I would never have guessed I'd work in a theatre...but I have absolutely loved it!

---

Now that I got the sappy part out of the way, let's talk about what I've accomplished here and why I deserve this degree.  (It's tough to tell if I'm doing this to help ward off senioritis and keep me motivated or if I'm just trying to impress all of you.)  I'm a super nerd, so I've obviously kept track of every class I've taken over the past 5 years.  And here they are with my (sometimes witty) comments!!!

Freshman Year `07 -`08

Allie, me, and Barbara "Poochigian-ing It Up"

Classical Civilizations 1550: Classical Mythology
Poochigian.  Enough said.

Educational Psychology 2600: Strategies for College Success
Taking AP classes in high school made this class borderline useless...

Mathematics 2210: Calculus III
It's like calculus I and II, only in THREEEEEEEEE DEEEEEEEEE!

Writing 2010: Intermediate Writing
Katy Savage, how I love you.  You and I clicked when it came to humor.  Thank you for encouraging me to write!

Art 2060: Non-Major Digital Photography
I, mister science, got an A- in an art class.  Hell yes!  I'll take it.  Digital Photography:  Art for Scientists.  I also must give this class credit for introducing me to Richard Avedon and his portrait of Marilyn Monroe.  You may have heard I enjoy this photograph.

Mathematics 2270: Linear Algebra
Horrible class.  Horrible teacher.  Katie flirted for her grade.  Admit it.

Physics 1980: Undergraduate Seminar II
They made me take it...

Physics 2215: Physics Lab I for Scientists and Engineers
Per...rwrwrwwrrw...iod.  That means "period" in Asian.

Physics 3210: Physics for Scientists I
Ugh...I don't wanna talk about it.

Summer `08

Mathematics 2280: Introduction to Differential Equations
Gray is usually a bad choice...especially if you're overweight and it's the middle of summer in Utah...if you catch my drift.

Sophomore Year `08 -`09

Mathematics 3210: Foundations of Analysis I
Even though we only spent one day in the Naval Sciences building with no AC, I now know how Italian students feel when they're in class sweating like an Italian fountain and have an Italian man saying math at them.

Physics 1970: Undergraduate Seminar I
You guessed it, they made me take this too...

Physics 2225: Physics Lab II for Scientists and Engineers
Ming Dynasty.  At least I think it was Ming...

Physics 3220: Physics for Scientists II
I don't wanna talk about this either.

Political Science 1100: United States National Government
The only reason this class was somewhat interesting is because I took it in Fall 2008: aka, election season.

My county is blue...
I felt that needed to be brought to attention.

Mathematics 3220: Foundations of Analysis II
Every review I had read about my professor, Dr. Taylor, (also the author of our "book") was horribly negative.  I was terrified of him before I'd even met him.  Turns out he was one of the most fair professors I had my entire college career.

Physics 3740: Introduction to Quantum Mechanics and Relativity
Quite possibly the biggest asshole of a professor I had my entire college career.

Physics 3760: Thermodynamics and Statistical Mechanics
I HATE thermodynamics.  I also HATE statistical mechanics.  At least the professor was nice even though he was sometimes difficult to understand.

Psychology 1010: General Psychology
This was quite the psych overview...thank goodness Kelly was in it with me.

Junior Year `09 -`10

ESS Fitness 1145: Elementary Bowling
It's amazing how flinging a ball down an oily lane thereby making pins fly and make loud noises is a spectacular stress reliever...even when you're not very good.  Thanks for putting up with me, Alec.

DYAC (Click it to read it)

Gender Studies 5770: Gender and Sexual Orientation
Dr. Lisa Diamond changed my life.  I could never thank you enough for all "ah-ha!" moments, self discovery, and self acceptance you inspired in me.  YOU literally changed my life; I don't care how cliché I sound!

Mathematics 3150: Partial Differential Equations for Engineers
My professor was a godsend.  At the time, I felt like I was dying from mono, so I made a deal with him that I would no longer be doing the homework, but prove to him I knew the material through exams.  In short, I got the high on the final.  Thank you, Prof. Allison.

Physics 1330: Physics of Audio and Video
Yes, 1330.  I took this for the hell of it and I thoroughly enjoyed it, thank you.

Physics 3610: Electronics I
I now cringe when I see electronics schematics.  I should mention, I ACED the final in this class.

See?  Terrifying.

ESS Fitness 1145: Elementary Bowling
Yep, I took it twice.  Wanna make somethin' of it?!

I eventually got my own ball!

Mathematics 3160: Applied Complex Variables
Oddly enough, I think this may have been my favorite math class.  It was also my LAST math class...  There may or may not be a correlation.

Two of my favorite mathematical cartoon characters

Physics 4910: Technical Communication and Scientific Judgement
This class was so good and so tough.  I learned to get comfortable presenting to an audience, that group work is a bitch, and some people say "like" WAY too many times when they're publicly speaking.

Psychology 2800: Psychology of Love
Relationships are so damn complicated!!!  Also, it's very strange to be taking this class when beginning a new, albeit poor and pretty damn hopeless, relationship.

Psychology 3000: Statistical Methods in Psychology
Part of me is still angry I had to take this class for a psychology MINOR composed of classes which didn't even require the class as a prerequisite.  This would be the definition of a weed-out class.  I recommend taking it online if you have some self motivation.

Senior Year I `10 -`11

Art History 3600: The History of Photography
I LOVED this class.  I found even more photographs to love almost as much as Richard Avedon's Marilyn Monroe.  I wrote about them a while back.  I even posted a paper I wrote for this class - Today I Asked Why.

Nutrition 1020: Scientific Foundations of Nutrition and Health
This class left me thoroughly disappointed in our country.

Physics 3410: Modern Optics I & II
This class had one of the most time consuming labs ever...if you don't count the undergrad lab class.

Physics 5010: Theoretical Classical Mechanics and Quantum Mechanics
I withdrew from this class.  My life changed this semester...fucking kidney stone.

Physics 3730: Introduction to Computing in Physics
I never want to be a computer programmer.

Physics 5110: Introduction to Particle Physics
This professor takes the prize for the most difficult to understand.  Probably not an award of which one should be proud.

Senior Year II `11 -`12

Physics 5010: Theoretical Classical Mechanics and Quantum Mechanics
Yeah...this again.  Good thing I saved most of the material from last time.

Physics 3719: Undergraduate Laboratory
Thank HEAVEN for Jessica.  Oh, and thank you Whitney for explaining "the tone."

Physics 5020: Theoretical Electricity and Magnetism and Statistical Mechanics
This is bound to be pretty awful.

Psychology 3440: Personality Theory
This is bound to be pretty amazing.

---

So in the end, I deserve it, right?  Right.

I'm almost an official physicist!!!  Do you know what this means?  YOU will know a physicist.  Yep, you!

Thank you all!

Love,
Jason

I Believe

"I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows..."

Wait...no, no.  Don't worry.  I'm not going to start out with a cheesy LeAnn Rimes song.  No, what I want to talk about is all my traditionally sacrilegious beliefs.

Yep, you guessed it!  A list:

My Sacrilegious Articles of Faith

1.  I believe there are other intelligent beings in our universe that we may one day contact.

2.  I believe I will one day have my own planet. 

3.  I believe I can have spirit children with another man. 

4.  I believe Jesus Christ married Mary Magdalene. 

5.  I believe Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene had children with each other. 

6.  I believe the "Plan of Salvation" also fits for LGBT+ individuals. 

7.  I believe in aliens...to an extent. 

8.  I believe LDS prophets are men, not divine beings speaking only truth. 

9.  I believe I have a Heavenly Father as well as a Heavenly Mother. 

10. I believe God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are three separate and individual beings united in purpose. 

11. I believe polygamy should be legal - as well as any other type of polyamory. 

Me and my boyfriend

12. I believe I was gay in the pre-existence.

13. I believe I was born gay.

14. I believe I will be gay in the next life. 

15. I believe "being gay" is part of my soul. 

16. I believe a woman has the right to choose whether to carry her baby to full term or abort it. 

God...doing science

17. I believe in the powerful potential of stem cells and in fully funding stem cell research. 

18. I believe gender and sexuality are not solidified and constant. 

19. I believe God is the perfect scientist. 

20. I believe women can lead religious congregations. 

21. I believe.

Wooooo....I'm so liiiiiiiberrrrrrrallllllll!

Go ahead, un-follow me, defriend me, un... + me?  Or just comment - that's more fun for both of us anyway.

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

MONO Lessons (Part XX: 401 - 419)

Meditatively Obtained, Novel, and Observational (MONO) Lessons

---

401. I lose a LOT of respect for people if I find out they’re not a registered (and active) voter.

402. Just as decongestant nasal sprays can cause rebound congestion when overused, decongestant eye drops (“red eye” eye drops) will cause rebound congestion of the eye – rebound “red eye.”  Thankfully I didn’t learn this one by experience, but instead by researching allergy eye drops.  I now know too much about allergy eye drops.

403. When I’m not happy, I hate hearing songs telling me to be happy.

404. Sitting on stage at Spring Awakening sounds glamorous and all, and it is, but as RTH put it, “we were still sitting on props.”  My ass hurts.

405. These bodies of ours are insanely imperfect.  It’s a miracle any of us are alive in the first place.

406. There is a part of me that knows this body is only a temporary inhabitance.

407. Life can really look and feel horribly sucky.  It’s anything but fun to feel this way.

408. Sometimes I get MONO Lesson writer’s block, but then I write 10 other things in the meantime while I wait for it to pass.

409. Doublespeak is maddening.

410. Sausages are silly.

411. Valentine’s Day cookie making with the boyfriend = adorable idea by me.  Oh, and the cookies were amazing GF, DF, and EF delights.

412. Bananas are also kind of silly.  …But not as silly as sausages.

413. When it comes to sausages, my mom and I turn into 7 year olds.

414. If you’re feeling constipated and also happen to have a sinus infection, antibiotics help both.  Double duty, if you will.  Duty.

415. Helping feels good.

416. Sometimes, normally normal things seem weirder than they ought...while sometimes, something new and kind of weird and bizarre can feel totally natural.

417. It’s tough to tell whether a difficult situation which, whether you like it or not, has an affect on your relationship with somebody, will immensely enhance this relationship or steadily destroy it.

418. 3-4 prunes at breakfast each day helps things keep moving.

419. Prunes really do taste pretty good.  (Especially Paul Newman's prunes.)

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

Because God Told Me So: Caffeine

I don't drink coffee...because God told me so.

I don't drink tea...because God told me so.

I drink Coke...Diet Coke...Mountain Dew...Red Bull, Amp, Monster, Rockstar, and 5 Hour Energy...because God didn't tell me I couldn't.

Caffeine content of all the above mentioned beverages:

Beverage	Caffeine Content (mg/oz)	Sugar Content (g/oz)
Coke	2.9	3.38
Diet Coke	3.8	0 (aspartame...)
Mountain Dew	4.5	3.92
Red Bull	9.5	3.19
Amp	8.9 - 11.2	3.12 - 3.62
Monster	8.4 - 13.2	2.60 - 3.38
Rockstar	10 - 20.8	2.12 - 4.94
5 Hour Energy	69	0
Coffee	13.4	0
Decaf Coffee	0.7	0
Brewed, Iced and Chai Tea	5.9	0
Green Tea	3.1	0

Data from http://www.energyfiend.com/

I don't avoid caffeine because God told me so.  I have a heart arrhythmia that is greatly aggravated by caffeine.  The arrhythmia is not life-threatening or anything like that, but it's annoying, to say the least.  So, I avoid caffeine.  I do enjoy tea, but it is usually herbal tea and therefore caffeine free.  I sometimes have green tea, but it appears its other positive effects outweigh its caffeine content for me.  Now coffee I just think is nasty.  Decaf or not, I'll pass.  I just think it's gross!

The sugar content statistics speak for themselves...

Those are MY reasons for following MY personal "word of wisdom".  Through trial and error, personal experience, and personal revelation, I have learned my body and mind do not like caffeine.

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.

Simple Pleasures

Stepping on gooey tar on a hot summer day.

Newly painted street lines (especially on a newly surfaced street).

Freezing cold tap water in the dead of winter.

Slipping into a bed with fresh, clean linen just after a shower.

Staring at your favorite piece of art when no one understands why you love it so much.

Staying up too late reading a textbook that's just too good to put down.

Daiquiri Ice.

Pants that fit.

Blogging.

Orange chocolate.

Mint chocolate.

Raspberry chocolate.

Chips and salsa.

The complete and utter silence during a heavy winter snowstorm.

Listening to the same amazing song over and over and over again.

Staying up way too late watching TV on my MacBook in bed.

Lunch at University Hospital.

Computers that work.

Friday nights.

Secondhand smoke-induced Europe flashbacks. 

Juicy nose-clearing sneezes.

Laughgasms - aka, Laughing Attacks.

She Spies and D.D. Cummings.

ThinkGeek.

Gay cinema.

Cuddling with my boyfriend.

Marilyn Monroe.

World.

Those of you on Facebook, "Follow" me at http://jasonhoggan.blogspot.com/.